Barefoot Floors

Countdown to craziness

2010-12-13T19:49:00.002-05:00

I tried canceling Christmas this year but no one around me seemed to listen.

So now we're trying to get in the spirit of the season in the like, two seconds a week we have to think about such things.

So far, we have a wreath on our door (thanks Nana and Bopa!), a few lights in the window and a tree!

Here's a little snippet from decorating the tree today:

Monthly Update: November

2010-11-30T18:22:00.008-05:00

You really should stop checking this blog. I have no time to add things! How about we make a plan to meet, like on the first of every month?

That way you don't have to keep checking and feeling disappointed and I won't feel so guilty.

Funny stories / quotes happen every day but like I said, no time to post. Store has been open about three weeks and all is well. Turns out talking about baby stuff all day is fun!

Kids are in winter colds / lots-of-change-in-their-lives mode which is never pretty but we're getting through okay. Send groceries.

One story to share:

At bedtime tonight, Mela and I were talking about names and then, when we were lying quietly in the darkness, she said, "Mama, have you ever met someone named Amelia? Not me, another person?"

And I said, yes I had. She asked, "Where did you meet her?"

I said I'd met her in a bathroom, in a restaurant. There was a mama and a little girl and the girl's name was Amelia.

Our Amelia the Precocious then asked a number of questions, including "did you know her?" (no, she was a stranger), "was she a baby or a big girl?" (big girl), "what did she look like?" (long yellow hair), "where was the restaurant?" (in Toronto), "were we with you?" (Daddy and baby Mela were but Nate wasn't born yet), and most importantly, after a long period of quiet thought ...

"Was she a dinosaur stranger or a people stranger?"

Important question to ask.

Say click:

The substitute parents keep the kids company:

Nate the Tool Man "fixing" the dishwasher:
Could there possible be a fat baby inside that box?
It's Nate!
Mela struts her stuff:
Close-up:
The most beautiful eyes:

Few quick shots of the weeds as they grow before our eyes

2010-10-26T08:34:00.010-04:00

If you're still checking this blog, then here's a little reward.

First time with hair totally in pigtails - it's getting long!
Do I have a three year old or 13 year old? You decide:
Pure boy:
Playing sleeping bunnies with Sophia - great way to get three kids to be quiet!
I went in his room to wake him up but really, how can you?

And here's a video of our pancake eating monster:

Annual giving of the thanks

2010-10-03T18:38:00.013-04:00

I think its obvious why I should be thankful.

We finally (FINALLY!) signed a lease at a place for our new baby store. We're hoping to open as soon as possible (three weeks?!) which sounds ridiculous except we have had nine months to prepare.

The kids are finally in a much better day care situation. It's quiet (sometimes only 2 or 3 other kids in their classes!), they play together for hours in the shady outdoors and Nathan actually had a 2.5 hr nap there on Friday, he was so relaxed.

The only downside is that I now have to face the (new) challenge of trying to convince them to leave!

Good friends and good family, near and far.

Two amazing kids. One amazing husband. Our own house in a friendly little corner of the world.

The Good Wife on TV once a week. My iphone. Skinny jeans and over-the-knee black leather boots (apparently I think I'm 25). Pancakes with local maple syrup. A book club where I walk in the room and every single person there is someone I like and want to talk to. CBC Radio 2 Drive. A kick-ass perennial garden. The freedom and support to become an entrepreneur and take an entirely new path in life. Snuggles in a warm bed with a sweet snoring toddler.

It is obvious why I am thankful.

Say click:
Corn maze farm:
Which way do we go?
Battle of the flags:Photo shoot: preparing (before I bribed Nate to take off his beloved hat)
Photo shoot: Take 1
Photo shoot: Goofing around (check out the crossed ankles, cousin Jenny)

Photo shoot: As good as it's going to get

Okay, now you can go crazy:

Three lessons for one mom

2010-09-27T21:28:00.015-04:00

Still no time to post really but couldn't resist this.

First of all, Nate recently did the big tranfer out of his crib. With Mela it was all fanfare and a gorgeous toddler bed (which she spurned) and song and dance and celebration. With kid #2, I carried him into bed one night and he said, "No crib." So I made a nest on the floor for him and that was that.

I had known the day was coming and besides, it meant I got to snuggle him to sleep again, which I've been waiting for since he was six months old.

What I didn't expect that was he wakes me up at 6:55 each day now. Turns out that's when he's probably been getting up all along but would play nicely in his crib. Now that he has his whole room to play in, he's decided to yell for me as soon as he's awake instead.

Lesson #1 learned: with progress can come pain.

The second lesson was taught last night. I've had the kids sleep in each other's rooms before because I wanted to prepare them for the day they'll share a room (since Mela is so brokenhearted to sleep alone every single night). It's always gone well. Then last night we did it and it was a disaster. They were up until 10 pm (so much giggling and plotting!) and then were hysterical when we finally had to separate them. Turns out that with Nate out of a crib, they spend the whole time having adventures instead of sleeping.

So today was fun with two sleep-deprived little ones, especially one who refuses to take a nap even when her eyes are almost black underneath.

Lesson #2 learned: no sleepover until we have beds for them to stay in.

And the third lesson was learned tonight. We separated them from the start (and Mela was crying so hard she was almost incoherent and then promptly passed out) and it seemed to work well. Except Nathan had had such a monster-long nap, he was full of beans and spent the next hour learning how to open his door.

Which he finally mastered.

And then walked downstairs and said, "Hello!" in a very jovial tone. I put him back in his room repeatedly and it finally seemed to stick.

Fast-forward to my bedtime (about 10 mins ago) and I decide to check on him. I crack open his door and peer into the darkness. No lump in the nest. I creep in and feel around on the floor. No sleeping body. I look everywhere and finally turn on the light. No Nathan.

I run and look in our room but he's not there. For a minute I panic and think he's somehow climbed the stairs to the attic and is horrible trapped but then I remember to ...

check Mela's room. And there he is.

So now I know ...

Lesson #3: just because a transition starts out seeming straightforward, doesn't mean it is.

Funny that he loves her so much and still tries to hit her all day long.

Say click:

Back when it was still summer, the kids sweating it out on the couch:

Enjoying the outdoors:

After several consecutive days of no nap, sometimes she just crashes:

This is what it looks like when a hurricane is trying to blow my neighbours' tree over (check out the quality of the light - the oranges seem weirdly intense):

Daddy made homemade sushi (and tempura) - wow!!

It disappears quickly, seaweed and all:

Sister hugs:

Speaking of crashing ... (check out the undies!!!):
Two kids with colds = no rest for the Mama:
Big boy with his present from Great-Grandma Martha!
Planning his strategy:
Score!
Nate gives up and starts to play golf:
... and basketball:
The boy and his Mom:
After months of rinsing hair with kids screaming bloody (and thinking the whole time that these things would be a waste of money), I finally broke down and bought the stupid bath visors. And they work!!!
Mela diligently rinsing her frog:
And finally ... caught in the act:

Having it all

2010-09-13T14:15:00.002-04:00

As most of you know, it appears as though there is an increasingly good chance that my business partner and I are opening a children's retail shop this fall (what the WHAT?!).

Never really something I wanted to do (don't like, 98% of retail stores go out of business?) but I do have a deep and abiding love of baby products and really do believe that you have to carpe the diem if you don't want to spend your entire life in a taupe cubicle working on projects that proceed at the glacial rates and have a good chance of never actually doing any good.

And if you actually want to see your kids a bit while they're growing up.

So in case you're wondering, here's a day in the life a mom entrepeneur:

Woken up by 60 lbs of elbows and knees "hopping on mama," cook breakfast while starving children wail about intense hunger, gulp a microwaved cup of yesterday's coffee, change everyone out of pjs, change stinky Nate, clean up oatmeal blast radius, take quick shower (with Nate standing in bathroom calling me the entire time), towel off in time to break up a fight, discover kids have dumped almost an entire bag of raisins on the kitchen floor, change stinky Nate again, blow dry hair for the first time all week while referring battle over precious marbles by yelling from bathroom, try to find a magical outfit that looks professional, stylish, and weather appropriate but also hides the flab from having two kids, make a lightening-fast lunch the kids might actually eat, hold sobbing mela for 10 mins due to some minor squabble, change Nate again and just stop putting his pants back on, take out now-full garbage full of rank diapers, dig through purses and briefcases full of animal crackers, wiki stcks and dinky cars to find sole tube of lipstick, clean up blast radius from lunch, change noodle-covered outfit, read books to kids, put Nate down for nap, frantically try to tidy most offensive clutter for babysitter, babysitter arrives, hunt for heels, drive to important presentation, rehearse in waiting room ...

And was just told that we don't actually need to appear in front of the committee after all.

Now heading home to put on Robin Hood and sweatpants ...

Party Time!

2010-08-22T19:23:00.022-04:00

Had Nate's birthday party this afternoon.

Instead of our usual big bash, though, we stuck with beer and pizza with family on the patio. We were supposed to start our lease on the shop today (if it hadn't fallen through) so wanted to keep it very low-key.

As it turns out, you still have to clean your house and all that stuff (make an ice cream cake!) so you really don't save that much work.

But it was nice to have it a little more calm than usual, especially since we stuck to the only-invite-as-many-kids-as-your-child's-birthday-number (e.g. 2). Nate still had a couple fits but who wouldn't, when your arch-nemesis touches your birthday digger.

All in all, it was a wonderful day in the sun.

Say click:

Nate unwraps his birthday present from his buddies (with a little help):

Clearly a good choice:

While the men assemble the basketball net from Grammie & Grandad:

Hours of fun with the new net (and enough balls for all the kids!):
Party on the lower deck:
I think it was around this time that Cohen told Mela he'd marry her:
Perfect weather:The couple discusses their plans while the monkey hams it up:
A tiny caterpillar shows up just in time to console Mela from a tumble:
Fascination:
Pizza picnic:
Cake time!
Nate spots the cake:
Finger dipping:
Nate checks out his new counting book from Nana:
Nate is instantly satisfied with his new mp3 player:
Mela and Cohen combine forces to transport the two year olds:
More play time:
Any day is a success that ends with watching "fishes" with your sister:

Who exactly is growing here?

2010-08-18T20:42:00.008-04:00

On his birthday, Nathan gave me a present.

Every night when I tuck him in, I ask who loves him. "Mama do," he dutifully replies and I whisper that I do love him so much.

Tonight in return, he actually said, "Love you." Which he has never said before (especially unbidden). Of course, it touched me.

And then he added, "Love daddy." too which was nice!

I always think that I'm not going to be another sentimental mom on my children's birthdays but then the day arrives and I look at them and think, "Where did you come from? Where's the baby?? How could two years have possibly gone by that quickly?!"

And I'm that typical mom crying over baby shoes.

As I was rocking big boy (still my baby) Nate in the dark tonight, I marveled at the difference between the aging of the first versus the second.

With the first, she was the sun from the moment she was born, causing tears in my eyes from her brightness. As she's grown, I've struggled sometimes to hold on to that feeling as the defiant two year old started her campaign of resistance.

A little hard to remember the overwhelming elation when your kid is throwing a full-blown fit.

With the second, though, he was the pale moon in the demanding day of a toddler. Not exactly ignored given his rage issues but definitely less engaging (babies = lumps). It seems that over time though, as I've gotten to know him, my love has slowly grown to the point now where I'm surprised at how deep it is and what a joy it is to get to know him as he changes.

Funny that I didn't know it could happen like that.

Happy birthday, my boy. Mama does love you so much.

Say click:

Cleaning out the kitchen cupboard: no more babies in this house Birthday treats: Mela tells Nate, "Come to bed right now!" Playing with Bopa: Lounging: Handstand! Mr. Hazel Eyes / Needs a Haircut: One year ago:
In the beginning ...

In which the baby becomes a little boy

2010-08-15T12:06:00.001-04:00

Can you believe that BaNa (Baby Nate) is now a two year old boy?

'Cause I can't.

Happy Birthday, Dartmouth!

2010-08-02T21:14:00.007-04:00

Had a lovely weekend!

In Ontario, the August long weekend is usually called "the August long weekend" or the plain old "civic holiday" but apparently in Nova Scotia, it's "Natal Day Weekend!!"

Supposedly, this has something to do with celebrating the birthday of Halifax and/or Dartmouth, though all the locals seem a little fuzzy on the details.

Either way, it's a big party.

Festivities at the d-mouth waterfront on Saturday (hamburgers!), then off to a family BBQ (more hamburgers), then downtown again for a rockin Matt Mays concert and fireworks.

Then on Sunday, picked up kids (who had a great sleepover with Grammie & Grandad), went home for naps and then time for another ... BBQ!

I've never eaten so many hamburgers in one weekend.

Then today we went to even more festivities (Natal Day Parade, "Pirate Party"). The kids couldn't exactly join in the bouncy castles fun (only went in the lame toddler "bouncy farm" and still ended up crying to get out) but were ecstatic to just get out of the house so much. And have endless treats.

So who knew?? Natal Day = good, clean family fun. Although I think we all need to go through some serious veggie detox this week.

Say click:

Sooo many people:
Mela's like, "Seriously? This is too crowded."
Matt takes the stage at the free outdoor concert:
Real fireworks!
Rockin out like old times with the Snows' music makers:
The whole town lines up for the parade:
Nate checks out the town criers:
The second best entry (#1 goes to the comic convention crew):
So done with the bouncy farm:
Unsure of the pirate tunnel:
Making memories on our first NS Natal Day ...

Overdue Update

2010-07-27T17:51:00.009-04:00

So apparently it's vacation for everyone, including this blog. Turns out that having two kids (who are just starting day care for the first time in their lives) and starting my own business (crunch time here right now) takes up about 99% of my time ... with 1% spent lying in bed worrying that I'm not asleep.

So no blogging. Other hobbies that have fallen by the wayside include frivolities like cooking meals, cleaning the house and visiting with friends.

It's kind of like having a newborn: all the normal parts of your life have to be put on hold for a period of intense work. But at least without all the crying and leaky boobs.

In case you're wondering, the kids are okay. They are somewhat miserable because the transition to day care is so different for them. You'd think that having had a nanny for the past three months would've prepared them but it really is a much different world.

With rude kids who knock you down to get your plastic cucumber.

And of course, they got sick right away, which was to be expected but still makes everyone miserable. We spent the weekend in Feverville which is always good for at least 5 awakenings a night. You know Nate's sick when he just lies on the couch for hours; it's good for rest but I'm going to lose it if I have to listen to Robin Hood one more time.

In developmental news, Mela is now about 5 feet tall and still only 2 inches wide ... I'm going to start wrapping duct tape around her waist to keep her pants on. Nate is a linguistic genius who broke out some 5 word sentences this week ("Get flies out my house!") but is appalled at the idea of sitting on the potty without a diaper.

So anyway, we probably won't be able to post much for the next little while. I know you're brokenhearted but you're probably at the cottage right now anyway, so it doesn't really matter.

In the meantime, here are some pics:

Say Click

Practicing piano at Nana & Bopa's house:
Aunt Cathi and Jenny give it a try:
Snuggles at the cabin:
A turtle invasion:
This is what we do when we're not in jail (day care): explore nature together.
... and splash with awesome whale sprinklers:
Who's that peeking in my door?

Happy girl:
Aunt Mary is truly welcomed to Nova Scotia:
Another invasion (spiders?):
This is what Nate thinks of day care (a second before this photo was taken, he was so tired, he was actually holding his head in his hands):
Wild children in Andrew & Jenny's awesome backyard:
Ice cream with an old friend (Nuala!)
A sick boy (thank you, day care):
Feeling better, Nate gets "busy" (love the tongue):
The view from our new patio set:

Home Sweet Home

2010-07-13T12:57:00.011-04:00

If you want to feel real and deep affection for a new house, try spending 21 hours in the car with a one year old and a three year old.

They were great on the drive but by the afternoon of the second day (with little sleep at the motel the night before), I was ready to chew my foot off to get out of our moving prison.

And then, it finally happened: we got home.

We leapt from the car and raced into the backyard. Everything that had been in bloom when we left was gone and there were entirely new flowers. We raced in circles and Mela and I shrieked in delight at each new bloom. It was pure joy.

And then we went into our house (formerly known as "not our Toronto house") and ran from room to room, discovering familiar toys and and soft beds.

And I learned a valuable lesson: turns out that what makes the bond to your house is the memories you have from living there. When I walked past our old place in TO last week, I realized that it doesn't really look like much. What I see, though, is the kids drawing with chalk on the sidewalk and learning to climb down the stairs and friends coming to visit in our backyard.

We are slowly starting to make those memories here. Now I have the memory of feeling so much love for our house when we got home. And Aunt Mary ("have you seen my collection of hat pins?!") is visiting us currently so I now have the memory of drinking a bottle of wine on our lower deck as the sun sets. And today I sat with the kids in the sunshine and Mela sprinkled rose petals on our heads.

There may never be babies born in this house or first foods or first steps but there will be lots of other great new memories.

Like coming home from a long trip away.

Now on to the next big challenge ... day care!

Say click:
Tousled kid:

It was so hot, you could barely breathe:
Mela feeding chipmunks at Nana & Papa's trailer (before the rains came):
It rained so much, we almost got flooded out:
Back on the road headed home ...
We were stuck behind this truck for a while. It was oozing some kind of dough-like mixture and dripping on the road. Weird.
Rest-stop picnic:
Thoughtful girl:
Someone was excited to eat at a restaurant (ice cream!)
I mostly just took pictures when they were sleeping (I was so happy!). Like when they both fell asleep at the same time ...
... and when Nate fell asleep still holding his cheese and crackers package:
Home at last, Mela models the latest fashions:

Plus de vacances (ice cream, bouncey houses and a trip to the big TO)

2010-07-07T16:10:00.016-04:00

The institutional tiles, the crush of bored commuters, the sound of the chimes ...

walking down the steps to the TTC almost made cry.

I thought that maybe 11 months would be okay. I thought it was enough time to heal the ache of missing MY city and the sudden tears at familiar landmarks (my park, my subway stop, my starbucks!).

But it didn't feel like I was visiting. It felt like the past 11 months were a strange, anxious dream and now I'd finally woken up, safe at home.

(Albeit a VERY hot and smoggy home.)

But it was only for two days. Only a temporary restoration. Now we're on our way back to a perfectly lovely town where I still feel like permanent visitor.

Someday it won't feel like this, right?

Say click:
Still at the cottage, there are a lot of people on this couch:
Canada Day Fun Fair. We don't waste any time and head straight for the ice cream.
Reluctant sharing with cousins:
I love how toddlers always stick their tongues out when encouraging others to eat.
Happiness is chocolate ice cream.
Jenny enjoys her lovely ice cream cone with her mom ...
... until she spills it.
Toddler bouncey house: Nate actually tried it out (notice the lack of Mela):
Little boy sitting on a big carving.
Big-boy bouncy house: Nate gets stuck inside and panics. But at least he tried.
Nate runs toward his new friend ... and then realizes that it is all very, very wrong.
Speaking of bravery, guess who rode a pony?!
Oh, look. It's meltdown time already ...
Missing the fresh fruit markets in TO:
Back home at my parents, we broiled in the heat ...

Summertime ... (mostly)

2010-07-01T13:03:00.011-04:00

Lovely time vacationing.

My family rented a cottage (in the same park as their trailer) and we spent a week enjoying the bounty of nature, including a good amount of wind and rain. We got one nice sunny afternoon though so are ultimately grateful. And sitting in a cottage sipping warm coffee and looking out a lake is never a really a hardship, even if it is 6 am (damn toddler).

Highlights include my birthday (although Nate did have a tantrum during dinner), Cathi's birthday and good old small town shopping (dollar store!). I've gained 8 lbs since arriving here (chili dogs, ribs, pizza, steak and dessert every night!) but it's worth it.

Heading off to Canada Day at the local fairgrounds - can you say "high school flashbacks?"

Say click:

Aunt Cathi accepts my bet and wears the shower cap from the dollar store to the parking lot. As it turns out, it was raining and served her well.

No bed is as comfortable as a blanket on the kitchen floor: iphone apps rock:

Nancy's Mother:
Fresh air means long, long naps:Serious sand time:
Jenny playing in the surf:
The girls::
A bit windy:
The ladies do lunch in Coby:
Early morning snuggles:
Trying to fit in both the soother AND the toast:
Cold weather means riding the dolphin inside! (still need the shades, though)
Keeping the shades going:
Good ole watermelon:
Boy on a dock:
... and a swing:
Girl on a slide:
Poor cold, Daddy:
"Mela likes to run in circles on the dock ..."
Siblings:
A man's gotta nap when he can these days:
Lovely lady on the beach:

Le Jardin

2010-06-13T19:21:00.017-04:00

When you go looking for a house, the garden is never really a factor. It's one of those "nice to have's" that are never going to make or break the deal.

But oh, how nice when the house you buy has an extraordinary garden. There were some pictures of it when we looked at the place and all the neighbours told us that it was lovely but we moved in during the winter so have been waiting to see the full show.

And now the warm weather is here and the garden is booming. There are about a hundred different plants and they're all colourful and interesting and some, I've never even seen before.

It's like living at a botanical park!

The best part is, it's all perennials and all low-maintenance, although I did get scolded by an old lady neighbour today for not weeding enough!

If you're not into plants and gardens, it's all just plants but if you are, it's a rare gift and a continuous source of pleasure.

Say click:

Keep in mind that our last garden looked like this, so anything was going to be better:
Of course, the first thing that everyone notices is the big showoff, Mr. Rhododendron (which may actually grow so large that it creeps into our bedroom one night and smothers us): This is one of my current favourites. Came out of nowhere and exploded with lovely scented flowers. Mom, can you tell what this is? (p.s. shortly after this picture was taken, we heard a cry and Mela was face-down in the dirt. That's what you get for being a monkey.) Millions and millions of lovely flowers: Lovely shaded areas: Of course, the mailbox is a little house that can be converted to a planter in the summer time: ... and a there's a little house for gardening tools, too! (which, of course, has a winding vine around it) The vine and arbor over the lower deck are starting to do their thing: Nice little corner with some lovely flowers and a vine that's totally taken over the fence (and is actually crushing it): This cool little tree is on the far side of the house but has some issue with its lower needles. Any suggestions? I've never seen this kind of plant before. And then one day, pop, it's full of awesome orange flowers. I always thought that when I owned a home, I'd plant my favourite plants: peonies, lilacs, bleeding hearts, some roses and lily of the valley. Guess what is planted at this house? All of those and more! There's a mulberry bush, for god's sake! Great colour and it's kind of curly! This guy wins for coolest evergreen shrub. Our garden has a LOT of bumblebees. Like, millions. If they really are dying out, just come to my yard to replenish the population. I figure it's because there are so many freaking flowers, you need that many bees to keep it all going! And finally, this is my current favourite plant. Up until today, it had pods that I thought individual flowers would slowly expand from. But all of a sudden, they burst open their condom-like casings and a whole bunch of flowers burst out like fireworks. Love it! Of course, there are some things more important than gardens. Like World Cup! Draw the drapes and let the action begin. Dinner's being served in the living room from now on ...

Friday Update

2010-06-11T15:43:00.007-04:00

Excuse the lack of posts.

Some sad events here lately and can't seem to write about anything happy or mundane. I should probably report on the kids' latest developments more (Mela shows a greater understanding of the world every day, Nate continues the great language burst: "bumped head so much!") but can't really be bothered.

On top of everything, Mela has been sick this week (burning fever, croupy cough) and I've been up all night lately trying to comfort her. (Good reminder of how much newborn sleeplessness sucks.)

Luckily, I'm a seasoned parent now and not stricken to the bone when they get sick anymore. You do still worry a bit though.

The good news is that we're going on "vacation" soon (to visit my family and swim in the lake!). Not sure how we're going to manage a cross-country drive (better or worse ages than last summer?) but at least I don't have to pack baby food this time.

Mamas, hug your babies. Even two (and 21 months and just over 3) isn't that terrible in the scheme of things.

Funhouse stories:

Mela:

I read a helpful parenting book this week. It's had a good effect, mostly by helping me be more patient and give them lots of positive attention, which means they're less crazy. I sometimes wonder if I've gone too far, though.

We were lying in bed yesterday morning (after having been up all night due to burning fever) and Mela was trying to get me up.

Mela: Mama, wake up! Mr Sun is up!

Me: Hmmphugh

Mela: Mama, wake up!

Me: Mmmmmhmmgh

Mela: No, Mama. Use your words.

Me: What did you say?!

Mela: Good job, Mama. You used your words! High five! (and actually tried to high five me)

***

Nate:

As it turns out, a toddler asking to watch TV gets a "no." A toddler demanding "TV on now!" gets a "no."

A toddler getting out a cushion, setting it up on the floor, getting his water bottle, sitting down sweetly and singing "Ready TV Mama!" gets ... a "yes."

Who knew?

Say click:

This is Hillary a few weeks ago ... and baby still isn't here! Being overdue should be illegal.

A recent weekend BBQ ended with a rousing game of Ring Around the Rosie. Hilarious for all.

Group pic. Note that Nate has someone else's juice. It was taken away right after this so every other shot has a very sad boy.

Hey look, Nate's got a spotting scope (telescope)! I'm not sure that's how you use it, though.

He spots a ball.

On the search for new treasure ....

Mela Jane quote of the week

2010-06-04T17:58:00.005-04:00

Nap-time today:

Me: Sweetie, I'm not going to "snuggle" you to sleep for naps anymore. I'm going to go downstairs and do some work. You need to practice going to sleep on your own at nap-time.

Mela: Hmm. Mama, I have a present for you [she says this when she's stalling for time]. And if you go downstairs, you won't get it. But if you stay and snuggle me, you can have it.

Genius, right? And then, the best part ...

Mela: [Looking very serious] It's your choice, Mama. It's your choice.

Say click:

Here's a tip. If you're tired of being with the kids all day and have run out of things to do and Daddy's stuck at work, just get them to line up one end of your house and race. They burn energy and all you have to do is sit in the kitchen and yell, "Ready, set, go!" every couple minutes. The fun can last for hours!

On your marks ...
How can you compete with those endless legs?!

Nate finally wins one!
Who is this handsome tan man??

Victoria Day!

2010-05-26T18:05:00.003-04:00

We had a lovely long weekend!

Dinner with family, two BBQ's, a hot summer day with a lovely walk in the park and lots of water play.

Who knew it could be so hot in Nova Scotia in May??

Loving the warm weather and the playing outside.

In terms of daily life, we're still slowly adjusting to the Mama working a few days a week, although really what we're doing is still going about our regular routine and then each time, panicking the night before.

It's the meals that are the hard part. Technically, I'm supposed to be preparing both lunches and dinners for the kids in the evenings but really? After I've fed myself and Chris, put the kids to bed and cleaned the kitchen, the LAST thing I want to do is cook another meal for the next day!

So they're eating a lot of noodles these days.

In kid news, all is (relatively) well.

Nate is still a language parrot and coming out with new words and combinations every day. "Go Mama's house" was a good one today. He is really at the point now where he can communicate most of his wants and needs.

Thank god.

The best part is that it means he and Mela can actually (kind of) play together now! Instead of just caveman fighting, they actually kind of pretend play. It really started a few weeks ago and has meant all the difference. We can go the whole day without having to turn on the TV because Mama's having a meltdown!

Mela is still adjusting to the nanny-thing ... she wakes up sometimes with nightmares at night, which is sad (she's so sensitive!) but has a ton of fun when the nanny and other little girl are here.

She's getting wily, though. For example, today:

Me: Mela, I need three kisses.

(Mela looks pensive)

Mela: And then what?

Me: Uh. We hug?

Mela: And then I get a banana.

Me: You drive a hard bargain, kid.

***

On the weekend: We were watching S-Street together and the number of the day was 2. Mela was curled up with her mama cats and I pointed out that she has 2 cats, just like the number of the day.

Mela looked at me contemptuously and pointed to her kitten on the coffee table.

"No, Mama. I have 3 cats."

Duh.

***

Say click:

We went for a walk in a park and it was NEXT TO AN OCEAN!
Nate tries to evade the energetic little girl:
Mom, this is fun!
On such a hot day, we had to come home and break out the water table!
Back in the routine, it's ballerina time!
Mela and Isobel get the party started:
And then guess who just HAD to be a ballerina?
The next Mikhail?

Models of consumption

2010-05-16T07:56:00.008-04:00

Nate just ate FIVE full pieces of french toast for breakfast! It was delicious but seriously, even I stopped at four.

Both of my children are physical marvels when it comes to eating. Mela can exist (with high energy) for days on little more than a nibble on some fruit and a bit of cereal. It's like she's a terrarium, constantly recycling her own resources.

Nate is also selective but when you hit the sweet spot, he's a black hole of consumption. Like Mela, he's a mystery: on the outside he looks the same but can somehow absorb 10 times his size in any carb-heavy dish (e.g. spaghetti, mac 'n cheese, pancakes).

Amazing.

Say click:

Mela introduces her whales to the pictures Nana sent

Nathan is run off his feet from his demanding newborn. Hahaha!

Blossoms raining down from the Flowering Awesome tree:

Thinking deep thoughts:

Springtime fun:

Yeah, I ate a lot. So what? (p.s. if you find your footie pajamas a little slippy in the morning, here's a fashion tip: add Crocs!)

Goodnight moon

2010-05-15T20:47:00.004-04:00

As I've mentioned, Nate's started having a bit more trouble falling asleep at night lately.

He goes into bed fine but then a little while later, starts to cry and call out, "Mommy! Mommy!"

I try to be tough but he's so good about sleeping most of the time that it's almost always legit when he cries.

Tonight I was a little fed up, though. We read the fire truck book and the digger truck book and the "Go Dogs Go" and the "Polar Bear, Polar Bear, What Do You Hear?" and everything was fine but then about 10 minutes after I put him to bed, it was the same, "Mommy! Mommy!"

So I go in to check on him, and as usual, he says, "scared. scared."

(The first time he said that, it broke my heart a little bit, to see his cute little boy face peering up worriedly and I sat in the chair in his room until he fell asleep (just like "Goodnight Moon" since all my parenting is learned from children's books)).

But tonight I was tired and starting to suspect that maybe he was playing me. Maybe the nana-papa-leaving thing has worn off and now he's just saying it because he's learned it will keep me there. Maybe I had to be firm and retrain or else I'd be sitting in that hard glider rocking my life away for years to come.

This is where I waver and I worry. How do you know? How can you tell? Too firm? Not supportive enough? And if you waffle between them, you're inconsistent, the worst parenting crime of all.

Luckily I have a 21 month old who can talk. Who as of this weekend, now says amazing things like "Don't want to!" and "noggin!" and "googly eyes!"

And when I went into his room, looked up at me with giant eyes and said ...

"scared. walrus. scared, mama."

Yes, there is a somewhat scary (in retrospect) walrus in "Polar Bear, Polar Bear, What Do You Hear?" And apparently nighttime fears can start to appear around this age, especially if there is daytime stress, such as separation from a parent (helloo?!).

And so I explained that the animal in the book was actually friendly (and Nate laughed in relief) and I sat in the chair and I listened to the lullaby CD for the ten millionth time while my baby stared at the ceiling and slowly fell asleep.

Just another example of trying to find the balance between an approach that promotes toughness and firm limits (often with great success lately!) but also values attachment and empathy. Quote: "[Kids] need a helper who is sensitive to their developmental stage and individual temperament."

If only they came with a manual ...

Video Bunch

2010-05-14T23:44:00.004-04:00

Hmm, since writing that last post, two things have occurred to me:

(1) My children have/are changing. In my world they are always the same people with slight incremental advancements but if you look back at last June, there is quite a big difference. This comes as no small surprise to me for some reason; I am actually quite shocked.

(2) I have total disdain for pictures. Show me video, for the love of god! I want to see tons of clips from that time. I need to see who these children were and figure out how they can look so much like my offspring despite the fact that my kids were clearly born exactly as they are now.

Therefore, from now on, there shall be more video.

At least until I'll get annoyed with uploading them to fricken You Tube and then I'll stop posting videos again.

Enjoy.

Roll 'em:
Several boring, everyday clips that I'll probably someday treasure:

Just a mundane moment, playing with trucks:

Playing with the train table:

Mealtime at the zoo:

Short clip of a ridiculously cute tiger:

Ballerina girl (when Aunt Cathy was here):

Mid-week update: Working mom and better boy

2010-05-12T21:47:00.008-04:00

Week 2 of "working" and it finally hit me today.

Even though I'm not going in to an office every day, it's still a permanent change. Permanent! From now on, the kids are going to be with a sitter/nanny for at least two days, every week.

We will never again have a week of just uninterrupted time together.

A little part of me is sad and terrified that this is it ... this is the slippery slope to kindergarten and junior high and goodbye waves as the car drives off to college and the "best" years of their lives are behind us and we squandered them.

That's one little part.

The other big part is ecstatic to be out of the fricken house!!!!!!!! WOOHOO!!! *jumpy claps*

So. I'm obviously very torn.

In kid news, Nate has been the devil (hence the freedom joy). And then suddenly today, he wasn't. Top incisors broke through yesterday so clearly makes all the difference. We played with trucks for a long time before breakfast and it was all laughing and fun and neck kisses.

So much fun when they're fun ...

Say click:
Hanging with the kid crowd:
Nate engages in some truck-related feats of strength:
Mela demonstrates the ketchup/lipstick trick:
Kitten girl:
Mama's boy:
Roll 'em:
Here's some boring dinner "conversation." I grabbed the camera because Nate started counting vegetables on his plate and made it up to 7 on his own! (How is it possible that this 1.5 year old somehow learned to count without ANY encouragement from me?! Fascinating second child.) He doesn't repeat the feat for the camera, of course, but does pull out some alphabet song. Who knew he was absorbing this stuff??

p.s. Just looked back at this time last year (May/June) and found a surprisingly similar post about going back to do some work and one of my kids learning to count! This is why people with bad memories keep blogs. Choked me up a bit though to see how much Mela's changed in a year. Hard to picture her any way but how she is today - amazing to see her level of communication back then. And how much she sounds like Nate (saying "yup" and "funny" exactly like Nate). Wow.

Halifax Public Gardens

2010-05-07T18:59:00.009-04:00

Can you believe I'm working again?

I'm not really. I was at a workshop last week and and am now just going to be working on my own two days a week. So it's not 9 to 5 (mon-fri) in an office, which means flexibility and freedom. And research, which is my favourite thing in the world!

But still. Nannies and cooking dinners in advance and all that stuff. Hard to believe.

Meanwhile, the Sickness is back. Boo. I'm supposed to give the milk-thing a month though and it's really only been a couple weeks, so will keep at it.

Wish it had been a quick fix though. Hate the sore throat/exhaustion.

On a positive note, went to the Halifax Public Gardens today!

I didn't really know anything about it (urban park?) and was kind of shocked. It's been open since 1867 (apparently it was quite the place to promenade) and reminded me of a little Central Park.

There were lovely flowers, old statues, beautiful white bridges and lots of cool trees (ginko! Indian bean! California incense cedar!).

My kids could not quite grasp the concept of a park where you can't walk on the grass but we had a lovely time.

Say click:

The entrance: Mela admires the fountain from an acceptable distance:How cute is that little house?!
Nate was walking behind me at one point, and when I turned around, he'd crawled into a little space in the roots of a tree and was just sitting there. When I asked what he was doing, he said, "Sit. Nest." Maybe the cutest thing EVER!
Meanwhile, back home in my own little garden, our Flowering Almond (or "flower popcorn"!) has started to do its thing. Impressive.
And for those of you who know the work I'm doing, guess what popped out of one of my planters?!!! It's clearly a sign ...

Mama go

2010-05-03T20:18:00.003-04:00

With his sacred dump trunk

We noticed Nate was a little out of sorts this afternoon. Every time I left the room (e.g. to run down and switch laundry), he would chant, "Mama go? Mama go?" anxiously until I returned.

Just going to the bathroom (oh long-lost sanctuary), would cause a panic attack. A couple times, it ended in heartfelt sobs and snotty tears.

At one point, while Nate screamed (because I was selfishly trying to lift a double mattress up the stairs instead of holding him), Chris looked at me and asked, "What is with this guy today??"

At bedtime, I found the answer.

We did the usual routine, he was in his bed snuggly, but when I left the room, it was, "Mama?? Mama?!! MAMA GO?!!!"

After a couple returns for reassurance, I left him for a bit (so I could clean the bathtub - oh, my life of glamour!). I'm really trying to find a balance between meeting needs and kids who expect their every whim met.

But the crying was wrong. It was legit and then it was hysterical. So I went back and met wide-eyed terror, "Mama go??"

I explained the virtues of a clean bathroom. He listened intently and then asked, "Mimi go?" I explained his sister's whereabouts (dancing in the playroom). "Dada go?" I described Chris's expected location.

And then ...

"Boppa go?" "Jimmy go?" "Gandma go?"

Ahhhhhh. In a world where people can suddenly disappear, can suddenly be there one day reading you books and kissing your neck and then be gone without a trace, how scary it must be to think it could happen to your own dear Mama.

So much of parenting is winging it ("offroading" I call it) and I've never liked improv. Just when you think you know what you're doing, things change and you don't notice and you misread the signs and you screw it up and everyone is more miserable than they need to be.

But once in a while, you get it right. With a flash, you understand how to meet their needs and make it all better.

So I got a magazine (I'm loving Brain Child!) and sat in the chair in Nate's room in the semi-darkness. The bathroom could wait. Every couple minutes he looked over anxiously to check that I was still there. "Mama go?"

I told him that I wasn't going anywhere. Eventually, he heaved a big sigh, rolled over and was out.

Tomorrow we start the first full day with our new nanny. I'll be at a workshop from 9-5, the longest work day I've had since Nate was born. It runs three full days.

Sometimes you can't choose the timing. You just do what you can to try and make sure their cup is full.

Goodbye, dairy, my old friend ...

2010-05-03T13:59:00.004-04:00

I don't know when it started but it took us forever to clue in.

First we had a newborn. Which you just expect to be hard. And it was Nate, which made it even harder. Then we had a baby and a toddler and life was flashing by and I went back to work for a bit and then we moved across the country (what were we thinking??)

A little stress was expected.

Then we were living in a strange city, with family, and trying to find a house. I was sick almost every week, which started as a joke but continued long past the point of being funny. The kids weren't well a fair amount too, so it was easy to blame on them. One doctor I went to about the constant sinus pain just said that with little kids around, I could expect to be sick non-stop for the next five years.

Thanks, that's helpful.

But then we were in our own house. And the kids were more self-sufficient than they used to be. But I was still exhausted. Every day, all day. Other people would mention "enjoying" their children and I had no idea what that meant. Friends had newborns and seemed happier than we were.

It got to the point that I would tell total strangers not to have children. I blamed my birth control and my kids. Chris asked me to go the doctor and have a full battery of tests. I think he suspected iron deficiency or at worst, some kind of cancer.

The tipping point came when my parents were here. All along, I had mostly felt dizzyingly exhausted and thought that all I really needed was a a break, a rest.

So every morning, my parents got up with the kids and I slept. But it didn't make a difference. One night I slept for 12 hours and then four hours later, fell asleep putting Mela down for her nap.

That's not right.

In conversation one day, I clued in. I was telling friends about my old milk sensitivity and in describing how it worked, I thought, "Huh. Depressed immune system. Chronic fatigue. Sinus issues. Sore throat. Wait a minute ..."

My mom, who has the same milk sensitivity and went through the same thing herself when she was my age, was subtle but persistent. Try cutting it out. Don't touch it. See the poison symbol every time you look at a delicious grilled cheese sandwich or fruit smoothie. Give it some time. See how you feel.

I was resistant. I grew up with this restriction and am still grateful every time I drink an ice cold glass of milk or eat a bowl of cereal. I couldn't give it up, not after all these years of being free.

But the sickness was not to be argued with. It was either that or take to my bed permanently (and lose custody of my children and get a divorce).

So I stopped. I turned my head while dishing out yogurt for the kids. I found a substitute for cream in my coffee. I bought the dreaded soy and rice milks.

And lo ...

Yesterday I woke up and did not feel miserable. Last night, I had a strange, bubbly feeling in my chest that I finally realized was happiness. Today I smiled at the librarian and sang along with the radio in the car. I clean the house and read books to my kids.

And it turns out that I don't actually hate my new town. Looking at the bridge in the rainy fog today, I almost felt something like ... affection.

It's not a complete transformation ... I still get short-tempered with the kids, partly because I've clued in that it's time they had a bit more discipline. And I'll never like cooking or housework.

But at least now it looks like we have a cause. A definite source of the problem. Something to work with.

And that's something to be happy about.

And then there were four ...

2010-05-01T19:07:00.018-04:00

It's over ... the family is gone.

It's amazing how smoothly things go when you have 4 or 5 adults around. One to play with the kids full-time (Uncle Jimmy!), one to do house repairs, awesome kitchen cleaning and constant coffee (Boppa!), all-round cooking, laundry and child-discipline advice (Nana!), and one to stand back and laugh/sob at how much easier it is with the village here.

The visit was great except for the constant, dreary rain. Really, my new province did not exactly put her best face forward.

On the positive side, if I was going to have to be stuck inside with the kids for two weeks because of bad weather, thank god other people were here to help!

And now the slow process of mourning their absence begins (Mela feels the separation from Nana most keenly) and learning how to parent again without others.

At least the weather's cleared ...

Say click:

After dinner at the driving range. Nate shows off this season's fashionable prints:

Uncle Sam has to hold Nate back to protect him from Daddy's monster swing: The lady tees up: Mela goes to her first movie (Oceans, of course!). The kitties sneak in for free. The second she enters the theatre, Mela is entranced by the giant TV. And a life-long love affair is born ... Guess who's three?! Playing with Uncle Jimmy:
The lady goes shopping ...
Cheerio face:
Nate checks Mela. "Seeping? Mimi seeping??"
Maybe I'll smack her butt to find out ...
On the last day, this is what we did: Mela and Nana read Blueberry Girl ...:
... and the men talked tools!
With the family gone, the big girl tries out the new bike ...

... and after a few turns, she decides that legs are good for now:
Monkey see, Monkey do: The sun returns ...: ... while we remember all the good times with our family:

All say hail the birthday girl .,..

2010-04-25T21:13:00.018-04:00

Mela turns three this week and today was her party.

She woke up to a house full of balloons and streamers and banners and stacks of presents and said, "Wowy Zowy!"

We had a big party. She got presents that she loves (new plush kitties!) and ate chocolate muffins and jello sailboats and blue whale birthday cake until she was stuffed and all the kids hit each other with balloons and it was good.

Nate (who's been really tired lately) went down for a nap right when things were getting underway and slept through the whole thing. Maybe for the best?

Mela almost cried during "Happy Birthday" (it's a LOT of attention!) but she managed to keep it together and take care of the candles (no Nuala to help this time!). Then later, when her balloon floated away, she sobbed mightily (unavoidable childhood moment) but then it landed in a neighbour's yard and uncle Jimmy saved the day!

Great fun was had by all.

Some would argue (successfully) that I take parties too far. That I get too stressed and make too big a deal. That at this time, with guests visiting, the kids thrown off their schedules and my useless immune system, we should just have a low-key day at home.

I don't do low-key birthdays.

This is how I show my love and celebrate my daughter's life.

And it's all worth it at the end of the day when I'm lying in bed with my sleepy kid.

I whispered, "I love you, Mela." She yawned deeply and said ...

"Yeah. I know it."

Happy three, kiddo.

Say (birthday!) click:

Sleepy kid attacks the presents (of course, the new kitty is already out and has met the others): Grocery time with the new shopping cart and products: Break for a yummy (wooden) sandwich: The new bike from Grammie and Grandad! Last minute prep:
We love new books! New umbrellas! Chocolate muffin break ...
Balloon mania hits! Picture taking and chatting (remember Baby Owen on the inside?):
Glimpses of the party girl: Cake time! Dad steps in for a little girl who finds all the attention just a bit overwhelming: The big moment: Phew! Glad that's over! Watch out for rock theives! Delicious! Happy customer: Some impromtu ballet: The kids move outside and practice climbing: The grandma's observe: The view:
Something's missing here ... The man returns: All kids knows that lacing strings are for much more than just lacing. Mela invents a totally new use: With balloons, the party never needs to end! Dad takes some hits:
Happiness is ... a birthday girl:

In which the author takes a vacation

2010-04-23T20:59:00.006-04:00

I was talking to my brother recently and described the busyness of my life as an endless Tetris game.

Like when the levels start to get higher and the shapes are flying at you and you have no time to think or plan or savor the moment, you just constantly react, react, react.

So we took advantage of the built-in babysitters yesterday and left town.

We ignored the fact that I'm sick (as always), that we have a child's birthday party in three days, that we have a million things to do. Just left town and went to a little cabin by the seaside.

It was like stepping through a transporter and finding yourself on a tropical vacation. But it's only for one night and it's not hot.

But oh, the ocean. You forget that it's awesome and then you stand and look at it and remember every childhood trip and the importance of shiny rocks and how restful it is to just sit and stare at something sometimes.

I still can't believe that I live about six blocks from the sea or that we can get to a place like this so quickly.

Score one for Nova Scotia.

White Point Resort:
You could listen to the waves while lying in bed:
Come walk on me ...
This is what relaxed looks like:

The village arrives ...

2010-04-18T21:17:00.004-04:00

The grandparents have arrived!

After weeks of teething (Nate), moodiness (Mela) and just plain exhaustion (mine), we finally get some relief. My parents just rolled into town (with my brother) and now the guards outnumber the inmates.

And I can get some discipline advice and recuperate. I have a theory finally for why I've been sick for the last million years and am going to put some plans in action.

No idea what's wrong with Mela (other than being two?) but a couple solid weeks with Grandma should help. I've also vowed to dedicate some quality time with my more neglected first child (without the Loud One).

Not sure what that means exactly but I see a lot of Go Fish in my future.

Sometimes a coffee is more than just a coffee

2010-04-13T09:26:00.004-04:00

There is a short list of things that I love.

I didn't always know what I liked. I was so consumed by other personalities that I had no idea of my own style or tastes. Then one day I was standing in the grocery store, in the baking aisle, and realized that I loved chocolate pudding.

Not because my older sister did or because my boyfriend did or because it was cool. I just loved it.

Here are some examples:

Chocolate pudding
Coffee (specifically Starbucks. Yes, I used to work for 2nd Cup and am a traitor. I just can't resist the lure of the dark roast!)
Dark cherry jam
Office supplies (pens, paper, markers, fancy file folders, you name it)
CBC Radio 2 Drive (recent quote: "Do Michael Buble's friends call him "Boobs"? 'Cause I do." -Rich Terfry)
Sunshine and warm spring weather
Time alone

Imagine if you will then, this weekend when I was at the Starbucks drive-through and discovered that they have a new drink: the Dark Cherry Mocha (espresso, bittersweet chocolate sauce, dark cherry syrup, and steamed milk).

I ordered one (half-sweet of course) and drove home from Staples (office supplies!) with the window down and the warm spring sun shining down, listening to R2 and sipping heaven. All of my favourite things colliding in one amazing moment.

I think it was a sign.

I was out of the house because I'm going to be going back to work. I'm embarking on a new venture, one that was never my dream but that offers the things that are really important: flexibility, time with my kids, creativity, independence. It probably won't actually pay me anything but we'll live.

And best of all, after a long winter of discontent, I'm out of the house and using my brain for something other than housework.

It feels good.

Little tidbits and a tea party

2010-04-09T13:04:00.010-04:00

Well, I just got to see a person sleeping with their eyes open for the first time. I was snuggling Mela down for her nap (she's napping again!) and she fell asleep ... with her eyes still open!

She was snoring and everything but meanwhile, her eyeballs were roving all over the room, watching some unseen action.

It was weird and kind of cool.

In other kid-dream news, Mela has started having nightmares. Or at least, now she can wake up screaming and tell you about them.

The other morning she told me she'd dreamt that her head had fallen off. She said it ran away from her like the gingerbread man (the gingerbread man appears frequently in our conversations these days) because it wanted to be "alone from [her]." She said she finally caught it and put it in her pocket but it burst open. Turns out it was filled with "a lollipop and decorations."

Again, weird and kind of cool.

Nathan meanwhile, is living a nightmare. Teeth, man. Only 8 more to go, right?? He's happy enough when he's exactly on schedule and his mom is in sight but if you alter any elements, he falls apart.

He cries when you take off his pants, he cries when you put on pants. He doesn't want to eat but he doesn't want to get down. Today he had a fit at Grammie's because she sliced his banana.

It's hard to be a toddler.

The good news is that the language dazzling continues. Caught with the salt shaker pouring in his mouth: "Salty dog?" Trying to climb up the counter to get to the treats: "Cookie monster?"

It's so cute, I almost give in. Today we were at Grammie's, though, and he was so miserable and didn't want to be there and said, "My house?"

I gave him a hug, poor thing, but also congratulated him on the use of a pronoun.

Interestingly, now that Nate can actually talk, the kid-to-kid interaction continues to develop.

This morning, for example, Mela was trying to convince Nate to play with her (instead of hounding me, hooray!):

"You wanna play with me, Nate?"

"No." (sound of trains crashing together)

"You wanna play with me, Nate?"

"No."

"You wanna play with me, Nate? You chase me and you'll win a a bright blue ribbon!"

"Okay."

(chase ensues)

Say click:
Here are some pics from a tea party we had recently with the McN's...

Nate makes sure the mamas' coffee is brewing:
Mela waits for the party to begin ...
Watch out for the hippo!
The crew:
The funny part about this pic is what's happening in the background. Let's play, "where's Nate?" (hint: he has climbed an object)
Tea party in full swing:
Cohen enjoys the real (herbal) tea:
Mela explains the importance of feeding your cat:
The sickie crew retires to the couch/bed for a reading marathon:

Bunny time already?

2010-04-07T14:50:00.012-04:00

Really, I hardly noticed it was Easter.

We live very day-to-day here right now. Mostly it's just survival oriented with little perspective for long-range planning. I did manage to get my act together enough to buy some little baskets and treats (thank you, Superstore) so it's not like we missed Easter altogether, right?

But the sickness still lingers in our house of germs so Nate's Easter weekend involved lots of Tylenol, being close to his mama and some anal probing (for temp readings).

Definitely not as much fun as it could've been. And I missed my family. But we had a great time with family here and there were some lovely moments (finding easter eggs, blowing bubbles, reading a magazine in the sun while the kids napped a long time because they're sick, etc).

That's really the best you can hope for.

Say click:

I turned on a show for the two little sickies and when I went to check on them, they'd climbed up into the same chair together. The cuteness slays me. By the way, I didn't dress them alike on purpose.
The hilarious part is that while I'm standing there, Nate casually takes out a Kinder egg, unwraps it and starts to eat it!!! His audacity is outrageous and I secretly love it.

The boy and his Grandad:Blowing bubbles on the deck:Even Nate managed a few ... without anyone's help, of course.

Yes, if you have a temper tantrum, you still get a time-out on Easter. But how cute is the little brother who comes and keeps you company??

Dirty-hair Mela "decorates" her Easter present from Aunt Lisa & Uncle Sam: a giant chocolate egg!:
Back to normal life and digging in the garden:
Sophia Loren, anyone?
The boy finally starts to feel better. (Just in time to start working on a new tooth!

A lap for two

2010-04-02T07:39:00.011-04:00

I think I've mentioned that I often think about whether to (not now but ever) have another child.

Most of the time, I just get caught up in foggy dreams of soft baby blankets and tiny onesies and all the things I'd do differently the last time (a cradle! a TV in the nursery!) and never progress much beyond that point.

Other times (usually around 4 or 5 am when I'm up with a sick Nate), I take a good look at the stark reality of doing it all over again and can't imagine where I'd start to get the energy (or the patience).

The benefit of experience means that I know how bad it gets. You make the decision with eyes wide open (but with a dash of "It couldn't be that bad again, right?!"). The good news is that there are less surprises (i.e. "why didn't anyone tell me this could happen?") and chances are you've worked out ways to deal with a lot of the crazy stuff.

It also means that you've faced the worst parenting moments and have seen all your flaws revealed. And sometimes it's so hard that you suspect, down to your core, that you should never have another child since you're struggling so much with the ones you have.

But I'm surrounded by pregnant ladies and newborns these days and just when you think you've quieted the tug-tug-tug for a while, a friend walks in with a little ball of a baby and you turn to mush.

And so the debate rages on. (Only for me, though; the Director is quite convinced that the experience of newborn Nate must never be repeated.)

In the meantime, I have my toddler. I sneak in the closeness I can with a little boy who is always on the move but every once in a while, lets his mama hold him close.

Especially when he's sick. Fevers are good for one thing, I say.

My baby Nate at 19.5 months:

But I've been thinking a lot lately about how we treat Mela. She is technically still only a two year old (for one more month!). But clearly we treat her like she's older (and expect more) because she's so freakin big!

We've been around another little girl her age recently and just by the sheer size of her, you want to carry her around all the time (which her parents sometimes do). I couldn't tell you the last time I actually carried Mela in the house.

Is that fair? No. Her best friend is a 4 year old and I get super mad at her when she has a temper tantrum like a baby. Like the two year old she actually is.

My big kid Mela at 20 months:
The problem is, I just don't have the energy to give TWO toddlers the attention they need right now (both have colds and are cranky/clingy). I can't hold them both, comfort them both, especially when the big kid snaps my patience ten times a day.

So in that situation, Nate's squeaky wheel wins (right now he has a fever and a SERIOUS case of "mommy-itis").

But at least I finally clued in to what might be causing some of her attitude issues.

And so this morning, my lap is big enough for two. And it feels like more than enough.

Don't need naps? Could've fooled me

2010-04-01T19:26:00.000-04:00

You know you're tired when you fall asleep mid-sentence, halfway through eating an apple.

What's in a name?

2010-03-30T20:53:00.006-04:00

You know what I love? When you tell someone the name of your child and they tell you a really cool story about someone they know with that name.

We sometimes get it with Amelia. It's not a super common name and is kind of old-fashioned so people often tell me about their grandma or their aunt or their grand-aunt.

We were at a party on the weekend (yes, a party!) and someone told me about how her sister was pregnant and having contractions and they took her to the hospital and the docs sent her home saying it was too soon and on the way, they sang a Joni Mitchell song called, "Amelia" because it has a line that says, "Amelia, it was just a false alarm."

So then when her sister actually had her baby, it was a girl and she named her Amelia.

I love stuff like that.

When picking names for both our kids, I really tried hard to find ones that were bursting with meaning (I contemplated naming Mela "Winona" because it means "firstborn daughter) but could never really find ones I loved and in the end, we just went with ones that we liked and we thought would serve them well.

But isn't it funny how, after they're born, you can find out a million things to do with their name?

Again, it's not so much a case for Nathan (although my mom did get him a couple "Nate the Great" detective books) but for Amelia, we found out that there is actually an entire series of kids books called "Amelia Jane" (her full name).

And she now has a bunch of other books with her name, like Amelia Goose (good kids book), Amelia Bloomer and one about Amelia Earhart (and a movie is coming out, too). And of course, Amelia Bedelia.

Hehehe ... I'll always remember telling my parents Mela's name. We were in the hospital, she was like, 5 minutes old, and Chris was holding the phone to my ear. I told them she'd been born and her name.

There was a lonnnnggg silence and then my mom said, "Like Amelia Bedelia?"

Fair enough.

But I think it suits her and is a good balance between unusual and trendy (have heard it a couple times at playgrounds lately).

And we get to hear fun stories!

With Nate, we went more mainstream but with the artist/rock star middle name option (Cael) but now I can't mention the vegetable "kale" around my dad ever again.

*sigh*

p.s. This whole thing makes me wonder, do I need to be listening to Joni Mitchell? I'm totally into this song! Am I that old already??

People will tell you where they’ve gone
They’ll tell you where to go
But till you get there yourself you never really know
Where some have found their paradise
Other’s just come to harm
Oh Amelia, it was just a false alarm

Sick parents and the chubby belly

2010-03-30T19:39:00.007-04:00

Sick here (colds for all). Both parents were struck this weekend, which begged the question: who takes care of the kids? We were cursed/blessed by the fact that the kids were slightly feverish also which meant (1) super cranky kids but (2) long naps!

Nate caught a lucky break by still having a low fever on Monday when we took him to the doctor for his long-overdue (15 month!) shots. Apparently they don't like to stick sick kids with vaccines.

You can imagine how the checkup went with a cranky Nate, though. Let's just say I'm at least know that his right ear is fine.

And we had the long-awaited weigh-in. Poor Nate, we're always making fun of his weight (which recent research mentioned might actually deserve some attention). And he's only heavier than 80% of his peers, which could be worse, really.

No energy to do anything else but crawl into bed now ...

I swear, colds for parents of little kids (especially stay-at-home moms) should be illegal. How can I call in sick?!

By the way, I just read part of a book about parenthood (Wiped: Life with a pint-sized dictator) that was terrible but had some decent top ten lists of stuff people never tell you.

One of the ones I identified with was "you will accidentally hurt your child." I read that and thought how true it was. Like the time I tried to clip Mela's baby fingernails and drew blood and almost knifed myself, I felt so bad.

I was thinking that I hadn't ever really hurt Nate like that, though. And then tonight, I was zipping up his pj's (oh, the zippers!) and zipped it right into his chubby little belly.

To my ears, the cries of pain were mixed with tears of betrayal: how could his own mother injure him so grievously?!

So there. If you haven't had kids or are just about to, consider yourself warned.

Say click:

Haven't taken any pics, due to sickness, except the following series of Nate showing off his "muscles." Not that thrilling but I thought his hammy antics were hilarious.

So strong:
Yes, you're gorgeous:
But mostly funny:

Heavy stuff: The case for kids

2010-03-22T19:45:00.006-04:00

A friend recently told me about a colleague who is a nurse. This woman is in her 40's and single with no children.

A patient was complaining one day that he had to stay in the hospital longer than expected and she replied, "Yeah, well, my mom told me I'd be married with babies. Life's not fair, is it?"

During our chaotic breakfast yesterday, I suddenly thought of this story again and of this nurse without her babies.

Some people never really feel a strong urge to breed or aren't that bothered if they can't. For some, it's not the end of the world.

For me, it simply would have been.

For a terrible, heart wrenching second, I looked at my kids and thought of the alternate reality where these two fighting, whining, crying, laughing, screaming whirlwinds do not exist. And I am the woman who learned that life's not fair and we don't all get the storybook ending.

Here's the deal: I complain. Maybe too much but in the trenches, it can get grim. From what I've seen so far, kids are pretty much the greatest source of work, stress, anxiety and heartache you'll ever find.

They are the ultimate demanding job: 7 days a week, at least 12 hours a day (sometimes more). I had to get up for my day at 5:30 am this morning and that was a GOOD night (no overnight wakeups). You almost never get a vacation. They never say thank you. It is the marathon that never ends but never stops feeling insanely important.

Have I scared you yet?

But. I don't forget what I have. And I don't want to paint a false picture of the deal you get when you have kids.

Yes, there is all the banal badness. But for me (and most people), they are simply the greatest dream realized. They are the deepest instinct satisfied. They are the missing puzzle piece for our bodies and our lives that we often didn't even know was lacking.

I have yet to meet a parent who wasn't completely head-over-heels for their own baby, no matter how much they try to act cool. Personally, I was shocked when I first took my first good look at baby Mela and realized the depth of the love. It actually terrified me for a long time, to the point where I couldn't watch the news because you were sometimes faced with the reality that things.happen.to.kids. And that means something could someday happen to the most precious thing to ever come into existence.

And it rocks because this person is made of you! It still doesn't get old, looking at another human being and seeing your eyes or your partner's mouth. You look at a separate human being and you see yourself and the love of your life combined.

Especially after a firstborn who strongly favours the other side (I've been asked if I was her nanny!), it's even better if you get one that looks like you and your family. There is an instinctive pride ... an ego and tribal glow when people say, "That must be your child. He looks just like you!"

This is immortality and it feels good.

And you're stunned that you created them and your body grew them and you literally brought them into the world and now your love (and discipline) is helping to shape them.

And it doesn't stop there. They constantly surprise you because they're constantly changing. This is sometimes bad (e.g. just when you start to get the hang of it ...) but it's also good. It means the bad stuff doesn't last. They start out like a external organ you have to nurture but then become more independent and one day seem almost like a real person and then the next day, they are.

And they tell you jokes and they figure things out and they ask legitimate questions (e.g. "Why do we eat chicken eggs for breakfast?") and they get really excited about things we no longer value (e.g. rainbows are huge in our house). And that's just the start because really, Amelia is still only two (almost three!) and think of all the adventures we have ahead of us still.

And you are a god because you created them. And they are gods because you worship them.

On a daily basis, they drive you crazy. In the big picture, they are no less than the reason you exist. A tree's purpose is to thrive so that it can produce offspring. This is universal among the species on our planet. Humans just overthink it. Nothing else we do (unless you're the President passing healthcare reform!) has the importance and permanence of procreation.

Some people think that the world doesn't need more people. That it is the ultimate selfishness to add to the population. Ego and environmental stuff aside, there is another compelling reason to consider ... it's a total conversation downer but it's out there.

What else in the world (other than religion) has the power to soften the crushing blow of death? My grandfather passed away last week and when the heart gasps at the loss, at the thought of never-agains and a lifestory ended, the priceless comfort is the smooth face of your child ("Okay, Mama!").

Because that's the cycle. You pay the darkness so you can have the light. And it hurts when the toll is due but you can't complain because the new crop has already sprouted up and is running forth and you have basked in its glory.

Life's not fair, it's true. Not everyone gets what they want or deserve. Some of us get a little more of than we expected. But I am trying to remember the other, childless me and sweat the hard stuff a little bit less and kiss my kids a little bit more. Because I have won the lottery twice in my lifetime and the proof is sitting at my kitchen table.

Oh, and another thing about kids? They keep you in the moment. Two seconds after I almost wept looking at my children's faces, Nate dropped a spoonful of oatmeal on my Crocs.

And so it goes.

Proof #1:
Proof #2:

Hooray for language

2010-03-16T20:53:00.007-04:00

Now that Nathan is at least partially verbal (enough to tell me NO! all the time, anyway) and Mela is speaking in long sentences (sometimes mostly gibberish but still), my two children are finally starting to really interact.

Mela actually spoke to Nate directly this week. I think she forgot her disdain for him temporarily in her excitement over going poop in the potty.

Nate, for his part, tried to answer back but really couldn't get out more than a string of gibberish in his excitement that his hero had actually addressed him directly.

It's not exactly an intellectual feast, though.

For example, here is a riveting conversation that took place twice today:

Nate: Dada. Shoes.

Mela: Those are Daddy's slippers, Nate. They aren't his shoes.

Nate: Dada. Shoes.

Mela: Those are Daddy's slippers, Nate.

Nate: Shoes. Dada. Shoes.

Mela: Those are Daddy's slippers, Nate.

Nate: Shoes! Shoes! Dada!

(repeat exactly like this for at least 15 minutes)

It may not be much, but it is the start to a lifetime of conversations ...

***
Mela just came up and told me a story. She said, 'Mama! I had a hiccup! It was stuck in my belly, so I yupped it up and it came out my big mouth!"

This is a window into the world of a two (almost three!) year old.

***
Nathan's talking has even improved from the time I started writing this (last week) until now. For example, he can now say, "I do!" Usually it's in answer to inquiries regarding the consumption of food but it counts.

Most of what he parrots comes from being around his big sister. For example, when he does something advanced, he grins and mutters something about being a "big girl."

And when he wants to do what you've suggested, he very sweetly says, "Okay, Mama!"

This is from being exposed to hours of my trying to drill this concept into Mela (e.g. when it's time to go inside or leave a fun place).

When he says it, it's adorable although I think he's missed the fundamental concept that you're also supposed to say it when you don't want to leave and not just wail and beat the Mama with your hard little fists.

***
The amazing thing about language development in your kids is that you're amazed by it.

If you were to ask a sane, non-kid person, they'd probably mock you and say, "What did you think was going to happen??"

But just the idea that what started out as a such a tiny, delicate (wait, was Nate ever delicate?), ball of fuzzy hair and soft skin that popped out of your body can actually change SO much and do so much and crawl! and walk! and actually tell you what they're feeling inside! It boggles the mind.

And that's why you get parents who lose their mind when their baby says, "Baa baa black sheep!"

You mock it now but this too shall be you.

***
At bedtime the other night, I stuffed him full of stories and then rocked him in the dusk, marveling at the difference it makes to finally feel like your child can understand your words.

After all those days and nights just ceaselessly giving to a black hole of needs, you can finally explain to this person how deeply you feel.

For a long time, I whispered in his ear, telling him how special he is, how wonderful it is to have him in my life (when he's not teething) and basically, just how much I love him.

At the end of it all, I told him again that I loved him and then foolishly asked if he loved me.

He looked deep into my eyes, and sensing an answer was expected, said ...

"Digger truck book?"

Say click:

Mr. Independent walks in with both shoes and a hat that he's put on himself. Think he's proud?!

One spring day goes a long way

2010-03-15T15:16:00.014-04:00

Today was the day I pictured when I decided to be a stay-at-home mom.

Not that it was ever really much of a choice: from my earliest memory, my parents told us that we didn't have things that others kids did because my mom didn't work out of the home so that she could be with us and that was the most important thing.

Personally, I would've like to have had a nice pencil case and another cabbage patch doll and a little less homebaked bread (wonder bread was sooo soft!) but what did I know?!

But somehow, the indoctrination sunk in.

I never questioned whether I would work when I had small kids. In high school, I felt huge relief when a friend whispered that she didn't want a career as much as she wanted to raise kids. I felt like my secret lack of career ambition was shared by at least one other feminist.

So I went through the motions, the university degree, the government job. But always had one overwhelming reason to exist. To be an awesome mom.

When Chris and I had only been dating a little while, I announced one night that I was going to stay home with my kids someday. I'll always remember his reaction because it was so calm: he said in that case, he'd better get a well paying job.

(see how ironic the whole thing is now that I find it so damn hard?! Be careful what you wish for ... it might actually come true.)

And now here we are and it's terrible and exhausting and monotonous and boring and I'm not fun or awesome at all but grumpy and moody and tired and drained.

But today ... today, it is spring.

Today I woke up beside my warm, sweet smelling daughter and laughed when she announced, "Mr Sun is awake. We gotta get up!" (thank you Mr Time Change for some extra sleep!)

Today my children played nicely (sometimes even with each other!) while I cooked a healthy breakfast. We sang songs while we ate and laughed at Nate's hammy antics.

Today we took our time getting dressed and walked down the big hill to the library. The sun came out and I got a tasty coffee. We played with dinosaurs and read a million books and Nate drank from a water fountain for the first time in his life and gasped because it was cold but laughed because it was fun. And we got in trouble with the librarian because Nathan kept making breaks for it but seriously, you can't follow two kids when they're running in different directions!!

Today we walked home and the big hill was a little easier, a little more manageable (although my heart almost flopped out of my chest during one ridiculous stretch), a little more like invigorating exercise that makes you feel alive and healthy and like you're actually finally doing something to get rid of the last 10lbs of that baby weight.

Today we got home and didn't go in. We dug in the dirt and played Daredevil Drop with little cars and drove boats away from sharp rocks and explored some new foolish flowers poking up through the damp dirt.

For a short time, I actually sat in the sun and read a magazine.

We ate healthy soup for lunch and sang some more songs and laughed some more at Nate. And then he went to sleep like a lamb and I did mountains of laundry (seriously, how does that get done when you're working?!) and hung clothes on my own clothesline for the first time.

And now Mela is playing by herself (BY HERSELF!) while I'm quietly cleaning the kitchen and rocking to R2 Drive.

And when I look out the window, I don't see frozen yards and a city of strangers and a province-not-my-own. I see a clothesline full of little kid shirts and toddler pajamas floating in the warm sun and see a whole future of sizes on that line and lots of time to figure out how to be, if not awesome, at least a pretty decent mom.

Say click:

Starting the day in style: This was a really big part of our day. Mela calls it "Digging in the garden so the bugs and worms and ladybugs can come out!" ... Nate calls it, "Poking the dirt."
Mela works diligently:
Nathan enjoys a dirt snack:
Short break indoors for naked reading: Time to clean up:

Come on, Nate!

2010-03-13T21:18:00.003-05:00

For those requesting more video, here's an average moment at our Funhouse.

Nate kept saying "Come on, Nate!" and frolicking around the room. Now that all four molars are in (did I mention he got 4 at the same time? Did I mention it's been madness here??), he's like a different person. A really funny, really cute person.

I may keep him.

Mela got shy when the camera came out and decided she was reading a book. She did warm up though (is it just me or does the "I can't be late!" remind you of the Mad Hatter?). The whole dropping-the-nap thing (and being a two year old) is still happening with her and it can be pretty ugly some days.

Can't wait for that to be done (just in time for Nate to turn two?!)...

Nothing really happens in the video (although I like that Nate grabs his fire truck for some dancing) but overall, some good times to remember.

Everyday moments and pics

2010-03-09T15:46:00.011-05:00

Mela: I need my crazy craw!

Me: Okay, first of all, I didn't hear a please. Secondly, let's work on the "s" sounds for a bit. Can you say "ssssstraw"?

Mela: Ssss..craw!

Me: Okay, let's try again. Can you say "sss-taw"?

Mela: I can't, Mama.

Me: We're practicing. We have to try a couple times.

Mela (sadly): I can't say it, Mama ... I'm too young!

(my muffled laughter)

Nate: Straw!

***
Meanwhile, Nate has learned the art of selective listening. He only hears the last words of the sentence. Example:

Nate: Cookie monser!

Me: No, we can't have a cookie.

Nate: Okay! (runs towards kitchen)

***
His language development is amazing, though. Since Mela's was so .... how you say, insanely slow, I can't tell if it's genius or just normal. Today he was having trouble getting a toy to work and instead of freaking out (in the manner of some girls I know), he came over and said, "Showme!"

Amazing!

***
Say click:
Here are some pics for the "away" family:

For the girl who refuses to sleep in a bed and loves the sheltered feeling of a closet, we finally came up with the solution: a tent! It's big enough to fit her mattress but still feels secure. The highest compliment? She's slept in it every night! And the tree adds a bit of a camping vibe, non? The girl crashes on the lazy boy now around 5 pm. It's not really a break for mom (dying here without the nap!) but it is better than nothing: Is it just the nostalgic mama in me or does she still look a bit like the newborn she once was? There's a new Tigger in town: The kids are doubtful that mama is actually going to be able to do this "30 day shred" business. I can't stop taking pictures of this sleeping beauty ... Meanwhile, the blessing of the 18 month old is that they can actually play on their own (if there aren't any sisters around to steal toys from). Especially if you give them a fire truck ...

See the beacons of hope and dare to dream

2010-03-06T22:17:00.004-05:00

I can't remember the last time I saw the sun.

I mean, it probably wasn't really that long ago (I think we had a sunny day a week or two ago) but in the scheme of things, it feels like years since it's been here.

It was sunny here today. The air was still cold but the light had warmth to it and our snow is almost gone. I noticed that even a few of my foolish flowers have had the audacity to poke their heads above ground, as if they are as desperate as I am to break free from the crushing prison of winter.

Everybody loves spring. Everybody gets depressed in March at the sight of all the dirty snow, chill winds and endlessly dark days. Everybody gets a tiny thrill at the first warm breeze, the first scent of hidden earth, the first memory of skipping rope days.

But for "stay-at-home-moms" (hate that label, by the way - makes it sound lazy and comfy instead of chosen and grueling), spring means so much more.

It means you have survived.

When you have little kids (especially two of them who can't play together but are too young to play alone), winter can be so hard.

I mean, ideally, you get out. You go places. You do outdoor activities and you actually enjoy this season of dead plants, empty playgrounds and life-threatening temperatures. But back-to-back-back nap times + kids who can't handle sleeping on the go = the life of a shut-in.

When you only have about 20 free minutes a day to leave the house, your world becomes very small. Walking to the local Shopper's is about as much as you can handle; if you're lucky there's a a library on the same block. In TO we were clearly blessed and had a Shopper's, library, toy store AND Starbucks all within the reachable radius.

When you look out the window and see nothing but snow, bitter wind (I swear, this ocean air has bite!) and impossibly steep hills, you lose hope. When it takes 20 minutes just to get on coats (I swear, the other day it actually took almost an hour to go from pajamas to car!), the library just doesn't seem worth it. In the other city, I had friends who lived in the neighbourhood that could at least drop by. Here, I have one close friend but I can't be at her house every day.

That would be crazy. Right?!!

So you stay in the house and you yell at your kids and they have tantrums over the smallest thing and you don't notice how bad it's all become until someone visits and suggests that maybe you're all just really bored.

And then a breeze catches you one day, as you're hurrying along and you stop, shocked, because it murmured something you hadn't let yourself think about for a long time.

Then you start fantasizing about spring. You find yourself staring out the window at the slowly shrinking islands of snow and allow yourself the luxury of imagining another life. You remember what it was like before the prison doors closed and you can almost see the bare arms and bootless feet running through the backyard, faces laughing, a giant playroom of sticks and moss and garbage trucks and open sky that put plastic Fisher Price toys to shame.

You count the months, you count the days. You moved into a house during the first snowfall and you still don't really know it yet, you're waiting for the full reveal, for the true bounty to come to life.

And this year will be the best, this summer will unmatched because you have an almost three year old now who believes in fairies and mud pies and the magic of growing a tomato. And an 18 month old who is only taking one nap and actually likes to learn things, like if you dig a hole in the layers of dead leaves, you eventually uncover real "dirt"! And you finally don't have a baby, after three straight years of late nights and nursing and and sleep training and just trying to keep your head above the water and not mess the whole thing up.

My running joke at the mom group is that fantasizing about warm weather is like porn for stay-at-home moms. You mention spring and their eyes kind of glaze over and they get this excited, dreamy look. My friend and I plan recklessly for our upcoming "summer of love": how can the troubles of life take root when you're frolicking from playground to lakeside beach to backyard BBQ?

But I try to temper hope. Everyone knows that March is tricky and mean, that she lures you in with evening light and flirty winds and then crushes you with a snowstorm that buries everything so deep, it feels like December all over again.

But who can resist the dream on a sunny day when little purple flowers throw caution to the wind and dare to dream? They're doomed, of course; there's no way they can survive until the real spring comes. But how bold of them to hope, to send a message that something better is on its way.

What does a sunny day mean to you?

Say Thump

2010-03-02T22:15:00.009-05:00

Well, yesterday's joke is today's head trauma.

See, Nate's decided lately that booster seats are for chumps and refuses to eat unless he's sitting in big person chair.

Never mind that the table is as high as his chin. This is the same kid that expertly eats couscous with a fork while his big sister still uses her fingers like they never went out of style.

(Funny how, before I had kids, I was all like, "I'd never let my kid do stuff like that. I'd just be consistent and strict and they'll listen to me." HA! Hahaha! I'd obviously never met a determined, hungry Nate.)

Anyway, he was "sitting" (on his knees) in a big person chair this morning, calmly eating breakfast and then suddenly he wasn't there.

And then I heard the loud, wet thud of his head hitting the hard tile floor.

I burst into tears and almost puked. Really, the thought of it still makes me nauseous.

Luckily, after the shock wore off, he wasn't too hurt (same bruise as last time!) and was in fine spirits. Or as Chris said, "the same grumpy spirits as usual." (Poor kid was actually bleeding from his mouth yesterday because of his new molars.)

Oh well, everyone says this only the beginning of the bumps and bruises and maybe even breaks.

I'm not sure my heart can take it.

Say click:

Mela enjoys some Olympic coverage:
Mela Fierce:
The kids check out Mela's new "bed" (it's a tent!):
The big boy before the fall: Is anything worse than a sad Tigger?!: Sick mom + sick girl + teething-boy-who-refuses-to-share-his-mom. Man, the "working" world is looking pretty good right now: New week, new bruise: Matching pajamas from Aunt Cathi and matching "no pictures!" attitude:

Say Cheese (if you dare)

2010-02-28T15:45:00.004-05:00

I was telling my parents a story recently, about how I walked into the living room and discovered Nate sitting inside the fireplace, with the screen closed in front of him.

My dad said, "The next time he does something like that, don't rescue him right away ... take a picture first!"

So here you go, Dad.

Nate was suspiciously quiet in the kitchen, so I just went to check on him.

This is what I saw:

For the record, he's holding a salt shaker (I think he was licking it). And when I whipped out the camera, the brazen one said ...

"CHEESE!"

Back to life, back to reality ...

2010-02-22T13:43:00.008-05:00

Things are starting to settle back into the routine now. Sometimes I forgot that we've only been in our house two months (during which we went home for Christmas and potty-trained the big kid!) and that things really are still settling in.

For example, I still have a dryer in my kitchen.

But at least now I also have a dryer in the basement, a decent light in the hall and fabric picked out for curtains. I don't actually have the curtains themselves (or a decent rug) yet but we're getting there.

Considering we only have about 5 mins a day to work on stuff, we're not doing too bad.

Want to say more about Nate's language explosion ("Zebra!") but both monkeys just actually fell asleep so must instantly go 1) clean kitchen floor, 2) refinish bookcase or 3) take a nap.

Say click:

Mela approves of a possible rug (I don't) and takes a rest:
Just kidding - I don't nap!
Practicing the ballet moves:
Yes, she's wearing sunglasses and using a magnifying glass. Makes me think Uma Thurman / Jason Schwartzman:See the sleeping bunnies ...
.. wake up little bunnies and hop, hop, hop!
Children playing together with dad (they each have a leg to swing on):
Until Nate decides that whichever leg Mela has is better and proceeds to muscle her out:
How can you be mad at this, though?
Nate and the Nose, I mean, the Mama:
What do you mean, I can't be a ballerina ALL the time?!
Fine, I'll be Sophia Loren:
Extreme closeup:
Think this baby's coming soon or what??
Where's Toothy?
Peekaboo!
One sheet = 15 min of fun.
They've started to hug now. And even kiss. It slays me with the cuteness.
The end.

And so we say, Hooray for guests!

2010-02-18T19:55:00.009-05:00

Have been having a wonderful visit with family!

First Aunt Cathi and cousin Jenny arrived from the sunny south for a fun-filled weekend of sledding, hot chocolate and poking fat Nate ... only to discover that we actually have less snow here.

So we mostly just stayed inside and watched the monkeys fight over the Diego.

It was great.

And now my parents have been here all week. The good news is that it's awesome. Fun people to hang out with all day who like your kids as much as you do, cook awesome meals and do handy little things around the house - what's not to like?!

It's so awesome to have backup for the kids. Like when you need to put one wailing kid to bed and the other one comes out of their room with their pants full of poop. Awesome.

It's been especially good since Nathan has morphed into a three-headed demon the past few days and has decided that crying is the new talking and sleep is for chumps who already have all their teeth.

Seriously, I've always said I was going to move out when he started on the molars. I thought I had a few more months to pack my bag, since he's still working on the front ones. In true Nate style, though, he's punked us all and moved straight to the pain - I looked in his mouth yesterday and saw white dots poking through at the back.

I was so stricken, I actually tried to wipe it away, in the hope it was leftover food. It wasn't and by the way, teeth are sharp.

And a toddler awake from 4 - 6 am is even sharper.

I actually went out and bought an air mattress today. Because if I learned anything from kid #1, it's that sleeping on the hard floor beside a crib just ain't fun.

Anyway, hooray for guests who get up with your kids and let you run out to Starbucks, I mean the hardware store, so you don't actually murder your children.

The bad news is, they're going to leave. This weekend. And I'm going to be alone with "them" again.

With one kid dropping her nap and still potty "learning" and another one getting molars (MOLARS!), I've decided you need at least a one-adult-per-child ratio and preferably 3 to 2. One person per kid and a spare to do the other million things that need to get done in a day.

It takes a village to raise a child. Or just survive them.

*****
During their stay, Grandpa has taught Mela some cool new tricks. Like (in front of a room full of people):

Papa: Hey Mela, what did we decide about Barney?

Mela: Barney's gay!

(I have to admit, I laughed.)

Me: Mela, that's not funny.

Mela: (sincerely) It IS funny, Mama!

(And I laughed again.)

******************

Say click:

Hardly took any photos 'cause we were too busy laughing. Have some from C but no time to post. Here's the few I got:

Cathi and Mary have a great talk on the phone.
The toddlers do a good job of not eating out of each others bowls. Children = they're basically like dogs but with more screaming at night.
Aunt Cathi strikes paydirt with the combination ballet costume + swim suit. Genius! A little cold to wear out of the house, though.
Jenny gets ready for the cruise ...
The southern girls pose:
The cousins ready for a stroll:

For Mary, Part 2

2010-02-10T17:29:00.003-05:00

'Cause when you miss someone, it's easy to only remember the good things (excited chatter, neck kisses, lap cuddles) and harder to remember that there are tough parts, too.

Nathan's good at reminding you of the tough parts. I swear, do other kids cry like this or am I just a huge wimp??

I'm not sure I want to know the answer to that.

Here's an example of one of Nate's "sad dinners." It's when he's (1) tired and (2) hungry but it's too early to put him to bed and he refuses to eat. The trick is, he also loses it if you try to get him down from the table.

This continued off and on for a ridiculous amount of time. Hope it helps, Mary!

Post script: Just finished reading a great article about being mad at your kids.

It totally captures what I've been faced with lately: we're the first generation that's trying not to use the clearly ineffective discipline of corporal punishment but we're struggling for appropriate outlets for the anger and frustration that being a parent brings.

The author says, "The mores are much stricter today — and probably rightfully so — but we also don't know what we are supposed to do with our anger." and "changing norms can't alter base human emotions." I say "amen, sister."

The only problem is, she accurately identifies the problem but doesn't really offer any concrete help. *sigh*

This is not the post you're looking for

2010-02-07T22:34:00.003-05:00

This post is not for you. It's a video of the kids doing nothing and it's pretty boring.

It's for my younger sister, Mary. Also known as "Aunt Mary" or "Mar-Mar" to my little chickens. She was our allo-parent and our aunt-nanny and we used to see her almost every day. Now we never even Skype.

So here you go, Mary. Some kids sitting at a breakfast table. Because she asked for more video and we miss her so.

Teaching Manners

2010-02-06T21:39:00.004-05:00

Conversation in our kitchen this morning:

Mela: Mama! I went pee pee in the potty. That means I get a treat!

Me: You're right, Mela. How about some nice fresh berries? (trying to phase out the awesome junk treats at this point ...)

Mela: Okay!

Me: Here you go, the last five raspberries. But I hear Nathan coming, so make sure to eat them quickly.

Mela: La la la. Yum, yum, raspberries. Five raspberries. La la la ...

Me: Mela, you need to eat the raspberries quickly. HE'S COMING!!!

(Nate enters kitchen and instantly senses presence of treat. Begins tracking prey.)

Me: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HIDE THE RASPBERRIES OR EAT THEM NOW!!!!

Mela: No, Mama. I'm going to share. Here you go, Nate. I share a raspberry with you.

Me: Oh. Yeah. That's right, we're supposed to share, aren't we? Good work, Mela.

Nothing like a lesson in manners from your two year old.

Like a rocket ship!

2010-02-02T21:38:00.006-05:00

Mela's changing.

She can pretend things now. Today she put on Chris's belt and announced she was "Daddy" and was going to work. It's the first time she's done something like that. She gave me a kiss (still calling me Mama but with a low voice) and marched out the bedroom door.

She then "came home," put on slippers and said she had to go to hockey.

Hilarious.

She's also into catch phrases right now. As in, "like a rocket ship." For example:

Mela: I gave Nate his teddy 'cause he was soo grumpy.

Me: Great idea -he's not crying now!

Mela: Yeah! Nate not crying!

Me: That's right. You're such a great sister.

Mela: Yeah, I'm a good sister. Like a rocket ship!

In Nate news, he's learned to kiss (finally!) and is currently into saying, "Oh dear!" He sounds like a granny. Is this a new sensitive side?? His kisses still leave a lot to be desired (it's basically just an open mouth pressed on yours) and the grumpiness is in full effect these days (nap issues) but it's progress.

Speaking of naps, I'm still in full denial that Mela is dropping her nap. It's been four days straight without one but I can't accept it. It's just totally unacceptable, mostly because of the Mr. Hyde transformation that takes place at around 4 pm.

Luckily, I'm a genius.

A long time ago (when I found out I was pregnant with Nate and still thought having just one kid was hard), I asked a friend for advice on coping with two. She recommended having a teenager come in and babysit for a few hours a week so you can run errands, do chores or even just cook supper.

Almost two years later, I finally got the chance to take her advice. I now have a girl from our neighbourhood come in twice a week from 4-5 pm and play with the kids. Sounds simple but makes all the difference!

For example, had a nice day with the chickens today but by 4pm I was ready to lose it (a non-napping two year old continuously screaming over toys with a greedy, clingy one year old and a pork tenderloin that wasn't going to cook itself).

Then this girl came in, they all went to the basement and played quietly and I cooked a nice meal (and might have drunk some wine).

By the time she left, I had dinner on the table, a (mostly) clean kitchen and a much nicer outlook.

All this for $8!

Between Grammie, cheap babysitters and good (espresso-making) friends, we just might make it through.

Say Click:

We just bought a "temporary" table for our kitchen (supposed to just last until we rip some walls down) and we love it! Having an eat-in kitchen in awesome, especially when you can reach the counter from your seat. It's working so well, I'm actually rethinking the whole reno now.

What's better in the winter than sitting in the sun?

So the only pics I've taken lately are sitting at the new table ...

No pictures, Mama!
Sleepy breakfast:

"Oh dear ..."
The ham changes her mind ...

Report on Business

2010-01-29T21:11:00.006-05:00

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with a boy playing with dolls (I try to encourage it) ...

... it's just that when his favourite doll is blond and naked, it's hard not to laugh, you know?

In other news, potty training rocks!

I swear, I've organized major, successful events for work and felt less personal pride than I do when my two year old tells me she has to go potty.

We were at her music class today (called "Jump, Jiggle and Jive" but there is a distinct lack of jiving) and she was totally absorbed in playing with all the toys but then ran over and proclaimed, "I have'ta go potty, Mama!"

It was awesome.

The "accident" in her pants yesterday was less awesome ("I didn't wanna come inside to go poo in the potty, Mama!") but they're pretty few and far between.

It's great. It almost makes me think we should've done it sooner except I'm not sure when exactly that would've been. And maybe it wouldn't have gone so well.

For example, if we had've tried before Christmas, Mela would not yet have seen her best friend Nuala use the potty at Pizza Hut, which turned into a major selling point.

Peer pressure. Starts young, never ends.

Say click:

All this peeing in the potty (and not napping) has me tired out ....
Nate keeps Mela company on the couch. And works on his gut.

Please don't let the phone ring ...

2010-01-26T16:00:00.007-05:00

So one unexpected complication from the potty training is the whole nap time.

Until now, we've been locking Mela in her room for naptime (haha, we don't "lock" her in ... we just put something on the doorknob so she can't get out).

This has worked very smoothly and was much better than the "chase her out of the bathroom 50 times while she never sleeps" approach that was in place for a while.

However ...

can't do that if she's wearing underpants (needs access to the potty) but it seems weird to put a diaper on her for the nap (basically saying it's okay to pee in your pants sometimes?). And putting the potty in her room just seems like a recipe for a very gross disaster.

So I've been trying the leave-the-door-open-a-bit approach. And we're on day three with no nap.

Which is like saying day three of living with a rabid, feral, crazed animal. On speed.

I finally just turned on a video, switched off all the lights and surrounded Nathan with a pile of trains in the kitchen. Five minutes later and ...

Nate and I are now barricaded in the basement and there is no dinner on the stove. But if you've ever seen a kid miss a couple days worth of naps (especially after all the excitement around here lately), you know it's worth it.

Now if only I could have pizza delivered to my basement.

The great potty miracle

2010-01-25T16:16:00.006-05:00

One of the sweetest moments of parenting I've ever had happened yesterday. I was sitting in the living room and heard a little tune.

It meant success. Sweet, overwhelmingly triumphant success.

It was the sound of Mela peeing in her (musical) potty.

Over the last few years, there are a lot of things that we've done wrong or, more often, just muddled our way through.

This time, we finally got one right.

You hear a lot about potty training and how miserable it can be. Apparently the average kid takes about three to six months to train, with some taking a lot longer than that, and often tons of frustration, stress and even tears.

Not us. We waited. One by one, other kids her age shed their diapers and while we envied their stink-free houses, we looked at our cautious little girl and said, not yet. We watched for signs of readiness and concerned ourselves with packing, and moving, and guest-ing, and then moving and unpacking, etc.

Finally this weekend seemed right. Mela actually said, "I don't want to wear diapers anymore. I want to wear underwear."

That's about as good as it gets for readiness.

So we followed my mom's advice, which after having trained four kids of her own, comes down to: take off their pants and let them run around (outside in the summer, if possible). This has also been called the "bare bottom and 75 bucks technique (the money is for dry cleaning your carpets).

Luckily, I also found a book last week ("Toilet training in less than a day"), which sounded ridiculous but laid out a really clear method for success with the bare-butt approach.

It's not really one day of work, because it takes some real preparation (take your child shopping and buy a musical potty, get a peeing doll, have them pick out nice underpants, talk about the whole thing leading up to it, etc). By the way, it seemed a little weird to spend money on something like this but in our case, it was totally worth it.

The thing I liked best was that you start the day by having the child teach the (slightly disturbing) doll the potty technique first. And at one point, the doll even "has an accident" and the child sees the consequence (over-correction by repeated practice runs to the potty and having to clean the mess, plus lots of talking about important people in the child's life who "don't like wet pants.")

So when it's the child's turn to learn, they've already seen the whole sequence and they know what to expect. And they already have a couple treats in their belly (dolly earns treats when she pees in the potty but the kid gets to eat them - awesome), so they're feeling pretty positive about the world and a little more ready to try something new.

It's still tough, though. The book's authors totally ignore the situation where your child is dancing naked around the house, refusing to wear the underwear or do a single "practice run" that they make sound so easy.

And you have to totally clear your schedule, evacuate the house (the boys had an adventure together!) and it takes almost every minute of the whole day.

But we took a kid who had never used a potty before and by the afternoon, as I was sitting (exhausted) in the living room, she stopped playing, ran to the potty BY HERSELF, got her pants down, and made that little potty play its musical tune.

It made my heart sing.

The best part was the bonding time we had together. We've had some rocky times over the past few months, most of it just because she's two and that's what two year olds are all about (god help them). Most days consist of her doing stuff just to annoy me (I swear) or being overlooked compared to her "squeaky wheel" brother. We have some laughs together but nothing like yesterday. Yesterday I HAD to devote my attention solely to her all day and we had something positive to focus on and we both loved it. We laughed and played and celebrated each full potty like she'd won the lottery.

I have to say again, I couldn't believe how fast she got it! At one point in the afternoon, I was cooking and she ran past me, whipped down her pants, sat down and said, "Phew! That was close!" Again, this is the kid that until yesterday had never worn underwear.

Don't get me wrong ... we're not out of the woods yet. Today we had to take the next step and learn how to do it all while wearing pants. And with distractions around, like playing with friends. She had one little accident but did great all day. The next step will be to ease off the treats (Reese's Pieces!), which are really the main reason she did any of it in the first place.

And we haven't left the house yet - I have no idea how that's going to happen.

But we travelled a great distance in one single day. And we had fun doing it.

It was about time we had a win!

*****************************
Say click:

Nate & the gate:
I have a new strategy for keeping the kids occupied while I try to do the breakfast sprint: they "cook" breakfast for me!
Nate is FINALLY getting to the age when we can skip eating at the table and have a "picnic" once in a while (i.e. sit on the couch and watch TV). It's not often but it's a great break for the Mama from the endless drudgery of up and down and bibs and boosters and the whole routine. Check out the cuties eating their scrambled eggs:
My precious baby:
Mela checks her potty progress:
She decides all is well and goes back to eating her tuna fish sandwich:

And finally ... I have friends who read this blog and think Nathan does nothing but smile all day long. Which he sometimes does. But he also sometimes cries all afternoon. Today I was trying to cook dinner and get Mela to get some sleep and Nate was a wreck. He'd had an awesome nap and a good snack but has a bit of a cold right now and was just plain out of sorts.

Here's a small taste of unhappy Nate (context: he was mad at me 'cause I wouldn't let him go upstairs to see his exhausted, non-napping sister):

Five minutes later, he's crying again, but at least his sister's downstairs and happy now:

Stinky house + Walking with two toddlers in the winter

2010-01-20T14:32:00.009-05:00

Imagine this covered in ice and snow ...

Am I the only one whose house smells like poo?

Just wondering. Because it does. And it bugs me.

It's not like we don't try hard, either. I change the diaper pails about every three days (far before they're full, which is when I used to change them, back when I only had one pooper). I usually spray the pails with disinfectant and wipe them out and when Chris comes home, he takes the bags outside.

But still. Constant reek.

And the worst part is, if it smells bad to me, what does it smell like to people who don't live here all the time (I'm sure my brain has habituated to it at least a little). Are they like, "Let's not go visit that house today ... it stinks."?

I'm not sure what else to do, other than potty train (tried that for about 1/2 a day yesterday and was exhausted). Nate's room is the worst (he is a stink machine) but I can't exactly open a window to air things out, not in the dead of winter.

So if you come visit my house, consider yourself warned.

Speaking of winter, actually made it out of the house this morning. We were getting a little "shack wacky" (as my friend Mel calls it) and decided to venture to the library.

Which is supposed to be close. When we were house hunting, I was insistent (some would call it stubborn) that our home be within walking distance of the "downtown" amenities (library, bridge, grocery, sportsplex, etc).

When we found this place, we could actually see the bridge from our driveway and Google Maps told me it was only a 15 min walk to the library. Hooray!

It's not true. Not in a winter snowstorm with two young toddlers and a vicious hill in between. (I have take to calling our city, "Lil 'Frisco" because of the insane hills. Seriously!)

Because of this, I've decided that Google Maps needs to have a sub-feature under Walking called "Walking with two toddlers in the winter."

This feature would automatically add 20 minutes of prep time for dressing them (e.g. chasing, pining down, wrapping in various articles of clothing, more chasing, boy crying, searching for a soother to end the crying, searching for various articles of clothing that have been removed and strewn throughout the house by girl while grownup was looking for soother, lugging gigantic double jogging stroller up from basement, treating wounds suffered from lugging pointy stroller up from basement, stuffing two marshmallowed, thrashing kids into restraints within stroller, chugging cold coffee to boost morale, etc).

It would then add extra time depending on wind. For example, the wind speed is 35 km today. Which meant every time a big gust came, it became twice as hard to push the gigantic stroller, not to mention having to constantly stop to reassure the little chickens squawking inside that they weren't actually going to DIE from a bit of cold air.

And the hill. My own personal Everest. I think at one point, the incline is actually 45 degrees. Which may not sound that bad but when combined with pushing almost 100 lbs of weight (32 lb stroller + about 60 lbs of little piglets) in front of you, it's madness.

I actually made Mela yell "Go Mama!" the whole way up the damn hill, both to keep her awake (not that she's napping now) and help me survive. The only good thing I can say about it is that maybe I'll get really ripped from living here.

So anyway, the "15 minute walk" is actually half an hour. Of torture. Not including getting-out-of-the-house time. Didn't tell me that, did you, oh mighty Google??!

But at least we got out. I may have pulled both hamstrings and fed my children nothing but lemon scones from a (awesome) coffee shop for lunch but we have new books to read and we got out.

I'm staying inside tomorrow.

*************************************
Say click:

Today's photo series is called, "Nate the Vampire." The good news is, he likes my beet soup. The bad news is, well, it can look pretty gruesome:

There's a girl who likes hats, too ...

2010-01-16T19:46:00.005-05:00

but she's a little more sulky. I think the fat lip is a nice touch.
Love a man who does the dishes:
Nate intently practices the skill of putting a lid on a sippy cup:
and then drinks some of the dishwater:
So I didn't know where the kids were for a second the other day. I thought I heard them on the stairs and when I came around the corner, they were both sitting on the landing. Does this look suspicious or what? I think they're planning a mutiny.
Beet soup = the Joker.
GAAAAA! I don't like hats buckled on!
Video: Hey Grandma, guess what Mela learned how to do this week? Thanks again for the Christmas present!

Don't kill me for saying this but ...

2010-01-12T15:45:00.005-05:00

sometimes I find myself wondering if/when we should have another child.

When this topic arises, those of you who know me immediately sputter and gasp and say, "Whaaaattt? Are you crazy?!! Don't you complain constantly about how crazy things are? Aren't you just NOW starting to claw your way back from the edge of insanity?? Haven't you been reading your own blog?!"

And that's all true.

But still. Mother Nature is tricky and foxy and sneaky and smart.

She makes it possible for you to forget (or at least fuzz-ify) the terrible discomfort of pregnancy and the most traumatic and horribly painful event of your life (giving birth).

She keeps you so busy and sleep-deprived that you can't lay down proper memories of newborn life or even toddler days. You have a dim memory of screaming but can't remember if it was you or the baby (or both).

She gives you unrealistic hope with the law of averages (e.g. you can't have three 9-10 lb babies, right? The next one would have to be smaller! And you couldn't have TWO colicky babies, right? Right?!).

And worst of all, she gives you the smell of a newborn's head. The feeling of a warm little body curled up so tight that they can't even stretch out properly for the first few weeks. A miniature ear so new and thin that it still seems wet. The first laugh. The first time they squeal, "Mama!" and run to you with open arms, even though you've only been out of the room for two minutes.

Mother Nature plays dirty.

Luckily, she also implements her own crude form of birth control. When you have too many kids, she keeps you so crazy busy that you hardly have time to eat, let alone go away for a romantic weekend.

But then when things get even slightly manageable (which they finally have the past few weeks!), you slowly start to find yourself noticing little babies at the mall or looking at old baby pictures or lingering a bit too long over a swaddle blanket as you pack it away.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not planting any seeds (I'm actually still carpet-bombing the garden so that it will be hostile to life for years to come). There are some memories burned in so deep that even the soothing amnesia of motherhood can't erase the scars.

I'm just saying, I'm starting to see the day when holding another baby in my arms, when seeing Mela be the little Mommy and Nathan be the proud big brother, when meeting another member of our family ....

well, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

After all, isn't three the new two?

The boy who loved hats

2010-01-11T15:52:00.000-05:00

No time to post but here is your daily zen:

A sad girl and a mama without a map

2010-01-05T20:47:00.007-05:00

It's almost 10 pm and the two year old is still awake and crying. She's had some troubling settling back into the swing of things the past few days ... I think she's just plain overloaded from all the excitement of traveling, holidays, new houses and the whole deal. And for her, it really comes out at bedtimes.

At one point, I checked on her (for the fourth time) and she collapsed in my arms, hysterically sobbing, "I don't like my new room, Mama! I don't!!"

Well. What do you do with that?

I gave her a long, eloquent speech about how the tree we painted above her bed watches over and protects her all night while she sleeps, with its branches outspread out in a permanent hug and its dropping leaves raining down like paper kisses.

She bought it in the moment but as soon as I tried to leave, became hysterical again.

In all fairness, she comes by it honestly. I don't like change. I THINK I like it, rush in headfirst and then end up sobbing in someone's arms, "I don't like my new city! I don't!"

But how do you handle it, as the parent? I just plain don't know what to do. She's tired, she's overwrought but that doesn't mean her feelings aren't legit. It doesn't mean the whole thing hurts any less.

But you still have to draw a line. I'd love to curl up with her in bed right now (and that's exactly what I did the first few nights we slept here) but I can't do that every night and isn't inconsistent parenting worse than being a little strict?

But how do you let your girl cry? How do you turn your back and walk out the door, when your little one is huddled in a ball, crying, "Mama, don't leave, Mama!"

I've finally had a bit of time lately to do some parent-book reading (a little late, you may say) and while some are really helpful, it seems like 80% of parenting is made up of specific situations like this.

Off-road style, where you just go by instinct and gut feeling and wing it the whole way and half the time, you change your mind the next day or the next month or you look back and say, "How could I ever have done THAT and thought it was the right thing?!"

Hopefully you have a mom (or mom-in-law) of your own to ask for advice, although invariably, they only have dim memories of the early years of parenting (cognitive block, perhaps?) or had completely different kids.

Which is the kicker of having more than one, of course: chances are, a good deal of what you learned with the first one just plain doesn't apply to the second.

For example, I have an EXTREMELY sensitive first child. Will someone back me up on that?? She still cries at the sound of the vacuum and she's 2.5 yrs old. Don't get me wrong, she's gotten way better but still. Sensitive.

And my second is an extrovert. The other day, he actually chased the vacuum and tried to poke it to see how it worked. He actually hugged a vacuum in public today.

When my first has to go to bed, it's the end of the world. We break her heart almost every night. If she's in a solid schedule, it's not bad, actually, but after any kind of disruption (e.g. new teeth, travel, moving across entire provinces), we can end up right back at square one of sleep training.

Then there's the Dude. He's cool. If you try to put him down and he's not actually tired, he will blast your face off but as long as the timing is correct, he pretty much goes down without a care in the world. The other night, we were rocking together in the cool dim light of his room, with a lullaby playing and warm blanket snuggles and I whispered, "I love you, Nate." He pointed at his crib and said, "Bed."

I put him in and he rolled over with his back to me and closed his eyes. Like, I'm done with you now, mother-person. You may go.

So nothing I learn with her will apply to him. And vice versa. (If he'd been my first, I'd probably attribute it all to my superior wisdom. Haha.)

Of course, if we all lived in yurts, I could just ask a fellow mom for advice right now. I'd also be freezing cold.

The girl has finally stopped crying now. Funny, you'd like think that as they grow older, you'd mind the crying less but somehow, it's almost worse. Because when they cry now, it means so much more.

And because sometimes, you kinda feel like crying a little bit, too.

Here's to the new!

2010-01-04T15:24:00.007-05:00

We're back. Today was the first day of being in a real routine again.

Of course, the kids are still totally thrown off from our travels and didn't sleep and chaos reigned ... but you gotta start somewhere, right??

Despite little sleep, Nate was in a surprisingly good humor today. I think maybe the latest round of teeth growing has finally ended (the latest one broke through on our last day with my parents).

He's actually quite fun to be around these days, with the whole language development thing and all.

In the last week, he's learned to say: hi, eek, stuck, help, got it, why and mine (can you tell who he learned the last ones from?).

Or at least, versions of those words that I can understand. I was in the other room today and actually could understand him calling "Help! Help!" (he was stuck in the bumbo).

At this rate though, he just might pull ahead of the Meemer Jeemer. He was actually making a "sssss" sound this morning and that's something she's still learning!

Another way that they're different is that he actually tries to do something more than once. If he can't get it one way, he tries again and then will even try a new approach. Compared to Ms. Instant Maximum Frustration, it's a lovely change and is exciting to watch. He has more patience than I do!

Mela has her strengths, too, of course. For example, right now she's really strong at "testing" (i.e. breaking) rules and being truculent. Which is exactly what two year olds (especially ones with lots of travel and stressed-out moms) do, so good for her.

I am looking forward to a ceasefire someday, though.

So here's to a new year (and new decade!) full of lots of talking and learning to do new things ...

Say click:

Today's pictures are brought to you by Ms. Mimi. She's finally gotten the hang of taking a picture with her little camera!

Dad plays guitar:
Awesome new apron from Aunt Lisa & Uncle Sam:
You can almost see us!
And here's a video of the boy and some of his words .... it's pretty boring but the goodbye is good.

The land of family and Christmas time ...

2009-12-26T22:44:00.012-05:00

We're in the land of family and Christmas time. What could be better?!

Trip here wasn't bad at all ... turns out that a 2.5 year old and a 1.5 year old are much, much better than having a baby around. Yes, they're active (i.e. hard to hold on your lap on a plane) but they don't need to breastfeed! They eat on the go! They don't absolutely die if their nap is delayed!

It's amazing.

We had some close calls (plane was 1.5 hr delayed but our gate had a kids play area, our rental got a flat but we made it to my parents without having to change a tire, Nathan is getting about 6 teeth at the same time but managed to keep his cool) but it went very, very smoothly overall.

And now we're visiting family, eating rich food, visiting friends, eating sweet food, visiting old neighbourhoods (mistake!), drinking tasty drinks ...

I may not go back.

Say Click
Here are some pics from the big day:

Before we left, the kids play with the nativity set for the first time. History in the making!
'Twas the night before Christmas ....
A trail of gold coins leading to the tree ...
Christmas morning chaos!:
Reading a book (that was written for Mela):
Wearing both the fairy dress AND the penguin backpack!
Mela granted many wishes:
Back to playing with Grandma's toys (and wearing new snugly pajamas):
Hanging with my boy, wearing the beautiful necklace made by my girl:One excited fairy:
Nathan is freaked out about the barn mooing ... but can't stop doing it.
More wishes granted:Grandpa hugs:Sweet pea running in his sleep sack:
How did you get chocolate all over your face?!
Oh, I see. Grandpa put liquid chocolate in your hand. Merry Christmas, buddy.

We wish you a merry Christmas "time"

2009-12-20T21:24:00.012-05:00

Was looking at Mela's homemade Christmas Countdown Calendar today (can never find a good advent one!) and lo and behold ...

it's only five days 'til Christmas!!!

I was shocked. Don't people know we have an entire house to unpack, here?? There's no time for Christmas!!

It's going to be awesome, though. This is the first year that Mela has any kind of awareness of the season and it's pretty cute. She points out Santa and all snowmen are named Frosty and she'll tell you she's going to give a gift to her brother, except "it's hidden."

It's also pretty confusing, though ... every time she sees Christmas lights or it snows, she exclaims "It's Christmas time!" (to which we agree) and then "Santa come my house now!"

How do you explain that Christmas "time" actually lasts for several weeks?

Hence the Countdown Calendar.

Nate is pretty oblivious to the whole thing, as expected, 'though he was pretty wowed when we put up our little tree up and loves to say, "Santa!" every chance he gets.

Show-off.

Had a lovely weekend of Christmas parties both Saturday and Sunday... and Mela and Nate's first sleepover at their grandparents house (without parents!). We're old though so didn't get crazy but it was nice to know this is now going to be an option.

Little breaks are very good. Although, like a lame mom, I missed them.

And this week, we're going *home* to my parents' for the holidays, which means lots of good fun, tasty food and help with the kids!!

I can't wait to see family, especially Aunt Mary. Every time Mela sees a present, she declares that it's "a present for Aunt Mary" and says that she'll love it and she needs to take it to her right away. Heartbreaking.

The best part of being with my family, though, is being able to share my delight in the kids with people who feel the same way (i.e. won't be annoyed). "Look at how much Mela's grown! Listen to how much Nate can say! Aren't they beautiful?! Aren't they funny? Aren't they perfectly wonderful in every way?!"

Family is great for that.

Merry Christmas, everyone! Hope you have a wonderful holiday with family, wherever you are.

Say click!
We finally got access to our massive collection of photos today and I just briefly looked through the ones from last Christmas. Feels like a lifetime ago. I definitely wouldn't go back but did tear up a bit to see my babies so young.

Mela met the cats for the first time! Uncle Sam and Aunt Lisa showed me their new house! My baby looking so slick: Mela seemed like such a big kid. And she was only four months older than Nate is now. Weird. Jenny and Nate hanging out. Tragic that they won't be together this year. Fast forward one year:

Nate's a big believer in dental hygiene: Do you think Nate's eating enough??
Is it more funny that he's sitting on a potty or that he looks so fat?The supermodel in the morning: Cheesy smile for all the fans: A real, perfect smile for her mama: Chris's true rainbow shines through:
I've finally learned ... the key to getting ready for a party? Lots of TV. It's awesome: they don't move! You can even take a rare shot of the two together and they don't even blink!
Here we were last year, barely keeping our heads afloat: And here we are this year. In our new house. Everything looks great, although if you look closely, you'll notice that I'm wearing two different earrings. Went to the party like that, didn't even notice 'til I came home. I think it's a perfect sign of our lives right now. Happy but still pretty crazy.