Parenting this Week

Nothing says parenting like dealing with a puking child.

Our man, Nate, has been tummy-sick the past few days and I've been getting a crash course in dealing with vomit. It's not too bad, just that I've been relatively spared until now and it really tears my heart to see one of my kids get sick.

It's definitely one of those things you can't really prepare for.

E.g. Okay, he's burping, here we go! Make sure to catch it all as it comes out. Use whatever is close, okay his shirt will do. Oh, god that's gross! I can still see the macaroni noodles from dinner. Okay, he's starting to panic, say something soothing and rub his back. Uhhh, I think I might be sick. Wait, how's the toddler handling all this? She's singing a lullaby right now, she must be trying to comfort him. How cute is that? Oh no, here comes more ... Man, how much macaroni did this kid eat?!

Thank god for living with family. My mom-in-law is a clean laundry machine!

The good news is that he seems in great spirits, despite the up-chucks. It's throwing him a bit off his eating game, though he still gives it a valiant effort. No clue as to cause, other than the usual suspects (freak stomach bug or, of course, teething).

Speaking of parenting ... have come across some great mom reading this week, from both old sources and new. Thought I'd share.

The first is a magazine I never knew existed! So here's another reason to be glad for the move: a great new piece of reading. It's called, "Brain, Child" and after I checked it out of our awesome local library, I read every single article. A couple even made me cry, especially the one called, "Baby Weight."

One part really resonated, where she said:

But there was no question that motherhood took my breath away not only because of the gloriousness of the beauty it offered up to me each and every day, but also because of the heat of its rage.

That whole section is super touching, especially how it describes a daughter's deep realization of her mother's love for her. Personally, I was shocked to read that I'm not the only one who has suffered those moments of intense fury. The overwhelming desire to hit your child is not exactly a politically correct topic to raise at playgroup, non?

The second is from an old standby, Ask Moxie. She did a call recently for advice for moms about having two kids.

I've thought of this from time to time and wouldn't know where to start (other than, make sure the eldest is at least three years old, try to get your sister/parents/friends to live with you/around the corner and pray the baby doesn't have colic).

Some interesting stuff, including something I was just thinking recently: you rise to the occasion because you have to. When people say they don't know how you do it, they just haven't imagined a scenario where you have.no.choice.

Your skills WILL increase to match the level of your need. It will take a while, like any time you build skills, but you will reach at least the same level of stress and chaos you had with your first (which, frankly, is probably a functional balance point - how much chaos we can live with vs how much effort it takes to beat it back).

Some of that may involve changing expectations based on the degree of effort, but you WILL find that balance point again, a place you can live with.

I like the way it's referred to as a balance between effort vs chaos. I am lazy so live with an extra amount of chaos and just need to accept that. (For more information on this, see my kitchen. Once I have one again).

I also now am starting to understand that my tolerance is low for relatively small amounts of stress (hmmm, short fuse ... who does that remind me of ...?). Which means, I'm always going to be more freaked out than the average person. Or at least, more than they show.

Nothing like having kids to make you face your weaknesses.

The third and last quote, is from my favourite blog, Motherhood is Not for Wimps. I think of it all the time when I'm around my two kids, the eldest of which I once thought owned my entire heart forever.

There’s really nothing to match the way you feel for a [baby]. It’s not that she’s the favorite, it’s that she’s really still a part of you. Thankfully, the Bigs don’t appear to notice this, and I try to be sneaky about the fact I want to kiss her all the time.

This is how I feel about Nate right now. He's entered such a magical stage of wonder and discovery and talking right now (Bird! Parker! Balloon!), that Mela never really went through ... it's enchanting.

Luckily, he has some built-in defense mechanisms against constant kissing, which include: 1) a constantly wet, drooly face, 2) unusually sharp, talon-like nails, and 3) a quick left jab. He'll sock you in the mouth without thinking twice.

Which leaves me more time for other things, like cleaning a messy kitchen.

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Say Click:

Mela has a tea party in the backyard with her awesome new toys:
Nathan tries out the work tools:
Mama, this is fun!