April 28, 2008

It's hard to believe that a year has passed already. I know that everybody says, "Oh, it goes by so fast!" but I didn't expect it to really pass in a blink like that.

On one hand, a lot has happened (look at all the stages she's gone through in one year!) but on the other hand, it seems like yesterday that I was breathlessly waiting to meet our little "Daisy." Maybe it goes by fast because your attention is so focussed on your child, it seems like nothing else has happened in your life. Actually, I think nothing else has happened in my life.

Now that I look back, it's been a great year. Each particular day has been pretty routine but has had a joy to it that was missing from my life before. No matter how dull the day ahead, I am always excited to wake up and see her.

Even mundane tasks become more exciting than they were before; I remember grocery shopping one day last summer and realizing that it was the happiest I'd ever been in my life. Just to push a cart around a store and make funny faces at my baby to see her laugh.

One thing that strikes me though is how short each phase was. It felt long at the time (sleepless nights, breastfeeding woes, dancing around the living room to get her to stop crying, sleep training, learning to sit up, crawling, trying to constantly hide the laptop) but when I see her now, I forget all the millions of little things she's learned along the way. Yesterday my mom said, "Look at how well she drinks out of a sippy cup!" and I thought, "Hasn't it always been like that?" It's been an amazing year when you think about it.

It's funny, when we tell people that we're having another baby, one common response is, "Oh well, at least you'll get the baby years over with faster." The thing is, I don't mind the baby years. Sure, it's been a lot of work in some ways (some days I was desperate for a break!) but it's also the most amazing thing I've been involved in. And things change so fast (my little girl refuses to snuggle with me now - have I mentioned that?!) that it doesn't seem like something you should want to "get over with faster." I remember there were some days last summer when I would spend the entire morning just laying on the couch, holding her and kissing her. I would think to myself, "I don't want to ever look back and think that I should've held her more."

Well, I don't regret that (I held her all the time!) but I do wish I could've bottled some of that feeling for later. It seems like only a hop, skip and a jump until she's a teenager soon and not only will she not snuggle with me, she'll probably barely talk to me!

Anyway, one year ago today I was in labour. And absolutely dying to meet this little person who was about to take over my life. I had no idea how much her own person she really would be or how much she would totally knock me out with love.

Here's to another year with a big-girl toddler and a new baby sibling (whaaa?) . Apparently some of the coming stages we can look forward to are: