For Mary, Part 2
'Cause when you miss someone, it's easy to only remember the good things (excited chatter, neck kisses, lap cuddles) and harder to remember that there are tough parts, too.
Nathan's good at reminding you of the tough parts. I swear, do other kids cry like this or am I just a huge wimp??
I'm not sure I want to know the answer to that.
Here's an example of one of Nate's "sad dinners." It's when he's (1) tired and (2) hungry but it's too early to put him to bed and he refuses to eat. The trick is, he also loses it if you try to get him down from the table.
This continued off and on for a ridiculous amount of time. Hope it helps, Mary!
Post script: Just finished reading a great article about being mad at your kids.
It totally captures what I've been faced with lately: we're the first generation that's trying not to use the clearly ineffective discipline of corporal punishment but we're struggling for appropriate outlets for the anger and frustration that being a parent brings.
The author says, "The mores are much stricter today — and probably rightfully so — but we also don't know what we are supposed to do with our anger." and "changing norms can't alter base human emotions." I say "amen, sister."
The only problem is, she accurately identifies the problem but doesn't really offer any concrete help. *sigh*
Nathan's good at reminding you of the tough parts. I swear, do other kids cry like this or am I just a huge wimp??
I'm not sure I want to know the answer to that.
Here's an example of one of Nate's "sad dinners." It's when he's (1) tired and (2) hungry but it's too early to put him to bed and he refuses to eat. The trick is, he also loses it if you try to get him down from the table.
This continued off and on for a ridiculous amount of time. Hope it helps, Mary!
Post script: Just finished reading a great article about being mad at your kids.
It totally captures what I've been faced with lately: we're the first generation that's trying not to use the clearly ineffective discipline of corporal punishment but we're struggling for appropriate outlets for the anger and frustration that being a parent brings.
The author says, "The mores are much stricter today — and probably rightfully so — but we also don't know what we are supposed to do with our anger." and "changing norms can't alter base human emotions." I say "amen, sister."
The only problem is, she accurately identifies the problem but doesn't really offer any concrete help. *sigh*
Comments
Part of the problem, like you say, is expectation. You expect that baby to be helpless and needy (and cute!) but the toddler knows better and that can be a killer.
I've been trying to look at it like nature's way of forcing me to be stricter and set tougher limits. I just read another interesting thing about how some 3 year olds are just as bad as 2 year old now because a lot of parents have put off hard discipline. (http://www.childrenshospital.org/dream/dream_fall07/3_is_the_new_2.html)
If only I could figure out a way to be tough without being angry or making my child act even worse out of retaliation.
I couldn't focus on poor Nate because I was so exhausted for you, and wondering if that was boogers on your sleeve. Because I have the same tell-tale streak on my pants today.
We will have a good laugh about this while we're drinking and they're crying and throwing things together tomorrow. TOMORROW.