4 Months and All is Well

August 27, 2007

4 Months and All is Well

Amelia Jane is going to be 4 months old tomorrow. So much has happened in the past four months, it feels like a lifetime (it has been her lifetime!) yet I can't believe the summer is almost over already.

Top 10 things I've learned about having a baby so far (for my sisters or anyone thinking of having a family):

Just when you start to feel confident, things change. All of the things that you finally learn about managing your baby usually change after about a week of smooth sailing. Remember this for when you're feeling smug listening to someone else's problems - just because you have something working for you now doesn't mean it won't fall apart tomorrow, putting you back at square one. This is why you can never really give advice to anyone. This lesson is also known as "things that worked yesterday don't always work today."
Even though you prepared yourself for great pain, the birth is far more traumatic than you expected. This isn't true for everyone, but for me, I spent the first week after the birth in total wonder that anyone ever has a second child. And kind of mad at all the women in the world for not really telling it like it is.
Baby products that help you out are worth their weight in gold. Different things work for different babies but once you find something that works for you, you should buy it, no matter what the cost. For us, a swing can often mean the difference between a 20 minute cat nap and a 2 hour sleep marathon. I'm just mad that we didn't have one during the initial put-me-down-for-a-second-and-I'll-shriek-like-a-banshee phase.
Have a change table (or changing station) on every floor of your house. Not only does it save your knees from running up and down stairs, but sometimes there are emergencies that require immediate access to wipes and a change pad. Let's just say that diapers are not trustworthy barriers, especially when the baby is close to moving from one diaper size to another.
Speaking of changing, while it may be true for some babies, we have discovered our baby's poo is not and has never been "sweet smelling," as some experts claim. Not at all.
Never, never get your hopes up about having a moment to yourself. Chances are that as soon as you get a second to actually sit down and think, "Oh, free time! What should I do?" the baby will wake up and the whole crazy ride starts again. This ties in to another lesson: it really is hard to find the time to take a shower every day. I used to ask myself how hard it could really be to find 5 minutes in a day. Trust me, it's hard.
You will never be able to watch (bad) news again without thinking, "That person was once someone's baby. I wonder if their parents felt the same way about them as I feel about our child." It really is overwhelming to think that we were all loved so much.
You will think of your baby's death at least once a day. Maybe this is just me, but every time I make a decision (should she fall asleep cuddling that blanket?) or leave the room (someone's got to wash all the clothes that get peed on!), I can't help but imagine the consequences if I get it wrong. There's no grey area with things like SIDS - either you're fine or you live the worst nightmare of your life.
Friends and family are key. I feel like I knew this one but having people to call about the smallest detail ("I think her poo is orange - what should I do?!") and who don't mind holding the baby / changing diapers / listening to breastfeeding woes can make the difference between sanity and wanting to lie in bed all day weeping. Girlfriends with newborns are the best for this, although beware the "who's suffering more" game.
It gets better every day. Okay, maybe not every day (did I mention she's not napping right now??) but every week she becomes more of her own person, engaged with her surroundings and excited by life. When you walk into the room where she's been sleeping and she's lying in her crib awake and she sees you and breaks out into a huge, gummy grin at the sight of your face, it feels a million times better than you imagined. And you can't believe your friends who tell you that it keeps getting better than this too. Although naps would be nice.

All in all, four months and we're doing fine. The best part, of course, is that Chris is home from work right now, so AJ has a stay-at-home mom and dad. It's great - somehow a screaming baby who is refusing to sleep is so much easier to take when you have a partner in arms.

Hanging out on the porch with unemployed dad: