Immunized and yet totally vulnerable
"EMERGENCY!"
That's what every bone in my body screamed this week when we were sitting in the doctor's office and Amelia was getting her shots. I didn't actually watch the needle going into her leg or the expression on her face change, like I did last time - I just stared at the ceiling and waited for the reaction. When she started to scream, every ounce of me caught fire and yet I was outwardly calm, concentrated on trying to soothe her. Her pain cry is not like any of her other cries and it has a way of drilling straight to your core, forcing you to block everything else from your mind.
Her reaction wasn't out of the ordinary and 15 minutes later she gave us a little smile but it was still a bit traumatic. I couldn't help thinking that for the nurses, this happens every day, but for us, it was a major event.
Parenting so far feels like that for me. On one hand, it is the oldest, most common experience of all - almost everyone does it and has been for millions of year.
But as we huddle around her, kissing her, rocking her and trying to make her smile, it feels like no child was ever so loved as she.
That's what every bone in my body screamed this week when we were sitting in the doctor's office and Amelia was getting her shots. I didn't actually watch the needle going into her leg or the expression on her face change, like I did last time - I just stared at the ceiling and waited for the reaction. When she started to scream, every ounce of me caught fire and yet I was outwardly calm, concentrated on trying to soothe her. Her pain cry is not like any of her other cries and it has a way of drilling straight to your core, forcing you to block everything else from your mind.
Her reaction wasn't out of the ordinary and 15 minutes later she gave us a little smile but it was still a bit traumatic. I couldn't help thinking that for the nurses, this happens every day, but for us, it was a major event.
Parenting so far feels like that for me. On one hand, it is the oldest, most common experience of all - almost everyone does it and has been for millions of year.
But as we huddle around her, kissing her, rocking her and trying to make her smile, it feels like no child was ever so loved as she.
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