Trailer Park Tastes and Small Planet Syndrome

I wish someone could explain to me why my tastes are so trashy.

I blame being back at work. It's far too easy to grab tasty treats (e.g. freshly baked scone!). When I was at home, I was limited to the boring contents of my fridge and cupboards (e.g. healthy produce, tasteless rice cakes) and rarely snacked. I also went for a walk every other day and spent half my time schlepping around a 22 lb sack of squirming potatoes.

At work, I can't seem to go five minutes without thinking of something delicious to eat. And sitting at a computer all day (with only the occasion water refill/bathroom break) isn't exactly good cardio.

Even when I'm at home now, too, I have no time or interest in proper feed-the-growing-baby healthy foods (e.g. am disgusted by vegetables and fish) but am constantly craving high-fat, high-sugar junk. For example, I couldn't eat a homemade turkey and havarti sandwhich Saturday but went to a friend's shower and ate 5 cupcakes instantly.

Today I would kill for a hot dog. Not just one actually, but several. I brought a delicious lunch to work (some of the awesome curry we made on the weekend, rice, naan bread and salad) and wanted nothing more than to leave it in the fridge, get in my car and hunt down a boiled hot dog. With gobs of ketchup and mustard. And fries. And a milkshake. Mmmmmm....

Why do I want to eat nothing but junk?? Shouldn't my body be craving healthful, fresh veggies and fruits? You should see the collection of apples and oranges I'm slowly building in my desk drawer (I bring one in every day and then totally ignore it). Eventually, someone's going to notice the smell. Why can't I be one of those people who just naturally gravitates towards healthy eating instead of it being such a painful chore??

With the increased appetite has (not surprisingly) come finally some long-dreaded weight gain, too. Last week I gained 5 lbs all at once. I suspect it's been building gradually and just hiding from me, waiting to pop out. So far, I'm still in line with my goals but if this trash-hunger continues (e.g. if I eat twenty hot dogs for dinner tonight), I'm worried that things will fall apart. I keep making resolutions about fresh fruits and veggies, brown rice and smoothies but can't seem to even go one day without scarfing something naughty. I had a pop yesterday and it was like the best thing I'd ever tasted! Mmmm, ice cold, delicious pop ...

Seeing as how I already starting this pregnancy with an extra 20 lbs (nicknamed "Amelia"), I'm concerned. Not concerned enough to get up at 6 am this morning to go for a walk, mind you (it was still dark!), just concerned enough to feel really guilty after I eat that piping hot, delicious blueberry scone (it had just come out of the oven - how could I resist??).

It's easy to say that I should put exercise and healthy eating as a priority (I don't think you should build a baby on toaster waffles alone, even if they are whole wheat) but it turns out that time seems to be an increasingly precious resource in my life lately. By the time the monkey is fed and in bed, dinner is cooked, we've eaten, the kitchen is clean and her lunch is packed, I have about 10 minutes to sit down and chat with my husband before it's time for bed. The last thing I want to do is spend that precious window of relaxation back in the kitchen, chopping carrot sticks or baking bran muffins.

Funny how you look back on things and think they're going to be totally different this time around (e.g. I'm going to exercise! Eat healthy! Not turn into a small planet!). Not so easy, it turns out. I just had a woman in the bathroom ask me how far along I am and when I said "5 and 1/2 months," she looked at me and said, "Oh." As in, "Oh, why are you so pregnant then?"

As I lumbered my way back to my desk (funny, these mat pants didn't seem so tight last pregnancy), I tried to remember what it used to feel like to be a normal weight. Sometimes it feels like I've been pregnant for years.

Oh no, wait, I have.

My former self (aka "Memories of skinniness, couple time and alcohol"):

My current self (aka playing "Find the Belly" with Mela"):