The Zoo

So, as usual we went to the Toronto Zoo for Mother's Day.

SO much more exciting when you have little kids!

More stressful too, though; I was always worrying about where they were in the crowd and whether they were awake/asleep/hungry/cranky.

Luckily, it went smoothly, though a lot of the animals were sleeping so ... not that exciting to look at.

Mela enjoyed herself, mostly just because she could run around unfettered.

For me, being a mother now, the most interesting part was seeing other primate mothers. I was watching one just sit still with her newborn baby and she looked so calm. Granted, she didn't have to worry about making breakfast for her toddler or piles of laundry or a carpet of toast crumbs to sweep or poopy diapers or consulting contracts (oops, that one's my own fault) but still.

She was quietly snuggling her baby, who could nurse on demand, and she had another female (the "allo mother") sitting next to her, kind of like a helper.

Why isn't it like that for us when we have a newborn? Where did we go wrong?

A book just came out by Sarah Hrdy (eminent anthropologist) called, "Mothers and Others: The Evolutionary Origins of Mutual Understanding." Hrdy's opinion is that "humans could not have evolved and flourished as we have if mothers alone were responsible for bringing up their children. We are, instead, a species of “co-operative breeders,” in which extended families and social networks have always been essential to the well-being of children."

I've been thinking this exact thing more and more lately. Why am I alone in my house trying to take care of two little babies, while my moms and sisters and friends are alone in their houses, taking care of their kids or wanting to see the kids?

According to Hrdy, "the child-rearing involvement of fathers, older siblings, friends and, above all, grandmothers was essential to the long voyage of human beings through the darkness and dangers of prehistory. The technical term for this involvement is “alloparenting,” with allo coming from the Greek word for “other than.”

Without alloparenting, a mother would never have been able to bring up several children successfully. It has always taken a village to raise a child." Read more

If only we didn't live in such a harsh climate, we could all live in huts and sit around outside, exchanging wisdom. And if we lived simply, we wouldn't have to work as much to pay as much for things like rent and lawn mowers and IKEA vases (which are actually quite cheap, I take that back). We wouldn't need as much money for entertainment, since we'd have lots of people to talk to, instead of being alone at the laptop while your kids nap. And we'd be surrounded by all the experience of the older mothers and the helpful energy of the younger ones.

I know it's not that simple (I think this has been tried and it's called a kibbutz). I just want more of that kind of lifestyle.

So what I'm taking out of it all is ...

I need to live closer (or with!) family, especially if I ever have another newborn. I'm not sure if there are any longhouses for sale in Dartmouth, though.

***

Here are some photos from the Zoo:

We're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo!
Orangutans exhibit - the best part (unprecedented access):
The toddler contemplates some swinging. I need stuff like this in my house.
Nathan's not sure what to make of it all:
The kids watch each other:
We weren't able to see some of the animals - no elephants or otters were a huge disappointment. When you go to the zoo, the least you expect is to see an elephant!Mela's favourite part was all the ramps:
The fam with the orangutan statue:
At the giraffes: look uppppp!
Eating lunch (Grandmas are good for chips):
Nathan chows down on a chicken sandwich:
Lots of fish:
More primates:
Zebras:
Dad is a pack animal - giddy up!:
Nathan takes a break:
Even more primates: these mothers make it look easy:
Acting like flamingos:We came face-to-face with the Creature with No Face.
Although she didn't see any penguins (her favourite animal) on exhibit, Mela found an armful in the gift store!
What do you mean I can't take them all home with me?!
Hooray!
Family shot:
Self-portrait of the grandparents:
Our family with the globe (Nathan's on the outside this year! See last year's shot)
After all that running and very, very late for her nap, Mela (with Pete the Penguin) quickly fell asleep on the drive home: