The bar is now closed

I am now a *free* woman.

That is to say, I have two dependent children (did I mention my toddler is teething?!) but I am no longer physically tied to another human being.

After THREE YEARS straight of either being pregnant or nursing, I am now officially done!

(Technically, I did have 3 weeks in between kids but it doesn't count since my body was still adjusting and I didn't know it was going to be so short-lived!)

Since Mela's weaning process was really a just a long slow decline of milk supply, it's been interesting to go through the real thing this time. There was no question about timing so I didn't have to worry about the agony some moms go through with the whole separation sadness (did I mention Nate has teeth now? And gets very frustrated and angry when he doesn't get what he wants right away??).

We are both very, very happy with the new arrangement.

I do feel some mom-guilt, though, about feeding my baby goat's milk instead of human milk. Kids clearly need milk until they're two and I'm a big believer that there's no real substitute for the kind that's manufactured specifically for your species. I even swore that if I could BF this time, I'd do it until he was 18 months or two years old.

But like I said, the pain wasn't worth the gain. He has top AND bottom teeth now!

Anyway, it's gone super smoothly. Nate doesn't seem to miss it at all and is pretty much just drinking milk with his meals now (you should see our grocery bill). Someone asked me if I miss it and the greatest insight I had was that I miss the idea more than the reality. That misty vision of a mother comforting her infant son by bringing him to her breast and providing him with calm, loving sustenance.

Yeah ... we never had that. We had bleeding and ripping and pulling and scratching and of course, biting.

There were good times but overall, I'm really, really glad to be done.

The only problem now is that I'm going through a bit of a hormone crash the last week or two. Apparently it's common but combined with the move (and the monkeys), it's not pretty.

I thought I was being all smart, getting it out of the way before the move, but I'm getting so stressed now at not having enough time to get things done, I might just end up burning our house down instead of packing it.

Hahaha ...ahhh.

Anyway, goodbye breastfeeding. We made it through to 12 months, which is great considering the troubles we had last time. Maybe next time we'll do it for longer.

Hahaha ... next time ...

A quiet moment together: