Sleep Training Begins (for real, this time)
Thank the heavens, the spurt is over.
I don't know if it was growing more chub or developing brain stuff but after a few nights of sheer misery, our man is back on track. Last night he 'only' woke up at 11 pm, 4 am, 7 am and then 8 am.
Sounds bizarre but it was great.
And now we're back on the sleep train(ing).
We're talked a lot about it (and I've frantically read everything I could get my hands on while my baby screamed) and finally, we've decided to let him do some crying.
We did the same thing with Mela at around the same age and it worked great (went from hours laying down with her to just putting her in her crib with a kiss). For some reason, though, it's harder to do it with Nathan.
Maybe because he's cried so much already, I hate to have him cry anymore. Maybe it's because I'm breastfeeding this time and I'm never 100% confident that he's full. Or maybe it's that we have no faith that if we let him cry, he'll EVER stop (i.e. he can cry for hours with us rocking him, so why would he stop if left alone?).
Some people call it "crying it out" or "Ferberizing" (Ferber was the doctor who made it famous) and it's almost always described as a big evil. But for a baby who doesn't settle with the more gentle approaches (e.g. the Baby Whisperer's shush-and-pat advice just makes me angry), we've run out of options.
My favourite sleep researcher, Dr. Weisbluth, is good because he outlines all the different approaches and then says which method is better for which types of babies (i.e. it's not a one-size fits-all world).
For a baby like ours, he recommends letting them cry (under very specific conditions) because other methods (e.g. letting them cry a bit, going in and soothing, leave for 10 min, go in again, etc) don't usually work. He says that:
Granted, it could've been hunger, since this whole growth-spurt thing has him eating constantly, so I fed him again but he was still cranky and obviously tired.
So I decided that enough was enough and I made him as comfortable as possible and left the room.
I came downstairs and told Chris the game was on and that I was leaving the house, since I would cave if I had to listen to him cry. I ran out the door and went to Starbucks, ordered a big, delicious drink (Vanilla Rooibos Tazo Tea Latte) and sat down with the paper.
Every song the store played seemed to mock me ("Beautiful Boy" almost made me cry) but I lasted almost an hour. I figured he'd probably cry an hour and a half the first night (that seemed to be the average amount) but I couldn't stand it anymore so I called home to see how he was doing. Chris was pretty relaxed (there was a big hockey game on, you know) and said that Nathan had cried for about 15 minutes and then fallen asleep.
Waaa?! It would've taken me at least an hour (maybe two) to get him down! Why didn't I do this sooner - I had a relaxing time getting out of the house by myself and Nathan slept better than if I'd been there!
Mostly I was just relieved he was okay.
DAY TWO:
So today we continue with the new regime. For his morning nap, I fed him, rocked him to sleep and set him down. When his head hit the mattress, his eyes popped open and he was like, "Uh, I expect more soothing than that, please. Insert your finger, now."
I kissed him and left the room.
He cried off and on for about 15-20 minutes (at which point I called Gymboree and postponed our free class for Mela - this is clearly more important). Then he fell into a deep sleep and slept for an hour. Huh.
I expect a whole lot of fury when we try things again tonight but so far, so good.
Pics:
New Years Eve (4 minutes to midnight!):
For some reason, Mela thought it was funny to eat with Teddy on her head:
Nathan spending some quality time in the 'saucer:
Requisite crying time with dad:
All better and watching tv:
Enjoying the new table from Grammie and Grandad:
Mela decorates Nathan with the leftover Christmas decorations:
Mela enjoying Mama's old teddy!:
Cutest baby on the block:
I don't know if it was growing more chub or developing brain stuff but after a few nights of sheer misery, our man is back on track. Last night he 'only' woke up at 11 pm, 4 am, 7 am and then 8 am.
Sounds bizarre but it was great.
And now we're back on the sleep train(ing).
We're talked a lot about it (and I've frantically read everything I could get my hands on while my baby screamed) and finally, we've decided to let him do some crying.
We did the same thing with Mela at around the same age and it worked great (went from hours laying down with her to just putting her in her crib with a kiss). For some reason, though, it's harder to do it with Nathan.
Maybe because he's cried so much already, I hate to have him cry anymore. Maybe it's because I'm breastfeeding this time and I'm never 100% confident that he's full. Or maybe it's that we have no faith that if we let him cry, he'll EVER stop (i.e. he can cry for hours with us rocking him, so why would he stop if left alone?).
Some people call it "crying it out" or "Ferberizing" (Ferber was the doctor who made it famous) and it's almost always described as a big evil. But for a baby who doesn't settle with the more gentle approaches (e.g. the Baby Whisperer's shush-and-pat advice just makes me angry), we've run out of options.
My favourite sleep researcher, Dr. Weisbluth, is good because he outlines all the different approaches and then says which method is better for which types of babies (i.e. it's not a one-size fits-all world).
For a baby like ours, he recommends letting them cry (under very specific conditions) because other methods (e.g. letting them cry a bit, going in and soothing, leave for 10 min, go in again, etc) don't usually work. He says that:
"... for fussy/colicky babies, by four months of age, parents are worn down from sleep deprivation and the child is way over-tired. In this situation, trying "Graduated Extinction" often fails because the child's crying outlasts the parents resolve to be consistent and "Extinction" produces results sooner."I think this is a good description of how we feel right now. On Sunday night, Chris spent hours in Nathan's nursery with him, just rocking while he screamed. Then last night (thinking maybe we'd missed the optimal sleep "window" the night before), I made sure we had a long, soothing bedtime routine and it still took forever for him to finally fall asleep. And then he woke up crying 40 min later.
Granted, it could've been hunger, since this whole growth-spurt thing has him eating constantly, so I fed him again but he was still cranky and obviously tired.
So I decided that enough was enough and I made him as comfortable as possible and left the room.
I came downstairs and told Chris the game was on and that I was leaving the house, since I would cave if I had to listen to him cry. I ran out the door and went to Starbucks, ordered a big, delicious drink (Vanilla Rooibos Tazo Tea Latte) and sat down with the paper.
Every song the store played seemed to mock me ("Beautiful Boy" almost made me cry) but I lasted almost an hour. I figured he'd probably cry an hour and a half the first night (that seemed to be the average amount) but I couldn't stand it anymore so I called home to see how he was doing. Chris was pretty relaxed (there was a big hockey game on, you know) and said that Nathan had cried for about 15 minutes and then fallen asleep.
Waaa?! It would've taken me at least an hour (maybe two) to get him down! Why didn't I do this sooner - I had a relaxing time getting out of the house by myself and Nathan slept better than if I'd been there!
Mostly I was just relieved he was okay.
DAY TWO:
So today we continue with the new regime. For his morning nap, I fed him, rocked him to sleep and set him down. When his head hit the mattress, his eyes popped open and he was like, "Uh, I expect more soothing than that, please. Insert your finger, now."
I kissed him and left the room.
He cried off and on for about 15-20 minutes (at which point I called Gymboree and postponed our free class for Mela - this is clearly more important). Then he fell into a deep sleep and slept for an hour. Huh.
I expect a whole lot of fury when we try things again tonight but so far, so good.
Pics:
New Years Eve (4 minutes to midnight!):
For some reason, Mela thought it was funny to eat with Teddy on her head:
Nathan spending some quality time in the 'saucer:
Requisite crying time with dad:
All better and watching tv:
Enjoying the new table from Grammie and Grandad:
Mela decorates Nathan with the leftover Christmas decorations:
Mela enjoying Mama's old teddy!:
Cutest baby on the block:
Comments
LOVE the pic of Mimi decorating baby brother. And that table is GREAT, I am looking for one like that! And her with your bear is freakin' precious. And I still love her cheesy smile.
The table IS great - we got it at IKEA, of course. Love the cheesy smile. And wasn't that your bear first? He's comforted three kids now ...