A night in the life of a newborn
For those of you currently expecting babies or thinking of expecting babies or even just thinking that someday, you might consider the remote possibility of having a baby, here is a sample schedule of an evening with a newborn.
Keep in mind, of course, that every baby is different and that every day can be very different. I know one baby, for example (a Ms Jellybean), who is very calm and relaxed and hardly ever cries. Of course, none of my babies are like that but just so you know, they do exist.
Just wanted to give you a taste, though of what a night in the life can be like:
8:00 pm - Lay down with beautiful babe to stock up on sleep for the long night ahead. Sleep total: 2 hrs (yay!).
10:00 pm - In great spirits. Nurse and watch Olympic coverage. Download pictures from camera. Eat tasty cookie. All is good!
10:30 pm - Change diaper. Keep nursing.
11:00 pm - Keep nursing.
11:30 pm - Guess what? Still nursing.
12:00 am - Baby asleep but distrustful of true depth of sleep. Post pictures on blog and marvel at gorgeous baby.
12:40 am - As expected, baby is awake. Alert but quiet. Spend some quality time discussing baby's obviously excellent qualities, including outstanding good looks and intoxicating head smell. Much head rubbing ensues and is enjoyed by all.
1:00 am - More nursing.
1:30 am - Convinced that baby has now (finally!) nursed enough, naive mother takes baby to bed. Baby instantly wakes and is fussy. Mother employs techniques of rocking, gentle shushing and finger sucking (since breast starting to get seriously sore).
1:35 am - Baby drifts off to sleep.
1:45 am - Baby awake and crying.
1:57 am - Baby drifts off to sleep.
2:04 am - Baby awake and crying.
Repeat above pattern for 2 hours.
Include stretches of nursing which are just painful enough to keep Mother awake but slow enough to allow baby to doze. Baby cries when removed from breast or when finger sucking exceeds 5+ minutes.
4:30 am - Mom sleeps for 42 minutes. Just enough time to feel like death itself when woken by crying baby.
5:15 am - Mom decides to leave baby outside for wolves and divorce dad. Feels very, very sorry for self. Thinks of all the reasons why she is the most tragic figure ever. Cries due to pain of acutely sore nipples and heartbreak of missing true love, sleep. In desperation, Mom breaks out special treat: sour cream and onion chips and orange pop. New round of crying ensues because orange pop reminds her of dad, who she now forgives and misses bitterly.
Nurse baby until almost blind with pain.
6:00 am - Sleep. Not nearly enough.
8:00 am - Baby awake and hungry. Mom is bleary with fatigue. Stumble downstairs for new round of nursing. Baby looks at Mom and twitches mouth into a smile. All is forgiven.
Here are some pictures. Don't be fooled by the cuteness.
Hmm, who is this nice lady? Will she let me suck her finger?
Score!
We call this "Old Man Mad":
Ha, I've got Mom fooled into thinking I'm actually asleep!
Don't believe the smile:
Ohhh, I'm so tired ... I was up all night!
Keep in mind, of course, that every baby is different and that every day can be very different. I know one baby, for example (a Ms Jellybean), who is very calm and relaxed and hardly ever cries. Of course, none of my babies are like that but just so you know, they do exist.
Just wanted to give you a taste, though of what a night in the life can be like:
8:00 pm - Lay down with beautiful babe to stock up on sleep for the long night ahead. Sleep total: 2 hrs (yay!).
10:00 pm - In great spirits. Nurse and watch Olympic coverage. Download pictures from camera. Eat tasty cookie. All is good!
10:30 pm - Change diaper. Keep nursing.
11:00 pm - Keep nursing.
11:30 pm - Guess what? Still nursing.
12:00 am - Baby asleep but distrustful of true depth of sleep. Post pictures on blog and marvel at gorgeous baby.
12:40 am - As expected, baby is awake. Alert but quiet. Spend some quality time discussing baby's obviously excellent qualities, including outstanding good looks and intoxicating head smell. Much head rubbing ensues and is enjoyed by all.
1:00 am - More nursing.
1:30 am - Convinced that baby has now (finally!) nursed enough, naive mother takes baby to bed. Baby instantly wakes and is fussy. Mother employs techniques of rocking, gentle shushing and finger sucking (since breast starting to get seriously sore).
1:35 am - Baby drifts off to sleep.
1:45 am - Baby awake and crying.
1:57 am - Baby drifts off to sleep.
2:04 am - Baby awake and crying.
Repeat above pattern for 2 hours.
Include stretches of nursing which are just painful enough to keep Mother awake but slow enough to allow baby to doze. Baby cries when removed from breast or when finger sucking exceeds 5+ minutes.
4:30 am - Mom sleeps for 42 minutes. Just enough time to feel like death itself when woken by crying baby.
5:15 am - Mom decides to leave baby outside for wolves and divorce dad. Feels very, very sorry for self. Thinks of all the reasons why she is the most tragic figure ever. Cries due to pain of acutely sore nipples and heartbreak of missing true love, sleep. In desperation, Mom breaks out special treat: sour cream and onion chips and orange pop. New round of crying ensues because orange pop reminds her of dad, who she now forgives and misses bitterly.
Nurse baby until almost blind with pain.
6:00 am - Sleep. Not nearly enough.
8:00 am - Baby awake and hungry. Mom is bleary with fatigue. Stumble downstairs for new round of nursing. Baby looks at Mom and twitches mouth into a smile. All is forgiven.
Here are some pictures. Don't be fooled by the cuteness.
Hmm, who is this nice lady? Will she let me suck her finger?
Score!
We call this "Old Man Mad":
Ha, I've got Mom fooled into thinking I'm actually asleep!
Don't believe the smile:
Ohhh, I'm so tired ... I was up all night!
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