Sleep training, take one
Things here have been interesting this week, if nothing else.
Have been trying to "sleep train" Nathan, since the swing hasn't been working as well lately. Basically, I just want him to be able to sleep in a bassinet or bed, motionless for some amount of time (i.e. more than 5 minutes).
It seems like everywhere I look, this is what babies do. They sleep in cribs and bassinets, on their own, several times a day. When I read books about baby sleep, they assume that you can soothe you baby to sleep for naps and focus on how to get them to sleep through the night.
I don't even CARE about sleeping through the night! (I never thought I'd say those words.) I just want my baby to sleep through a nap without 1) the swing, 2) my boob, or 3) my finger in his mouth.
It really doesn't seem that much to ask.
Anyway, it's been stressful (just what we needed) and involves running up and down the stairs a lot since he wakes up every 2 - 15 minutes and wails when he realizes there's nothing to suck on.
If this was my first baby, fine, I'd put in the time. I'm a hippy who believes in attachment parenting. But I have a toddler, which means I can't stand in his room for 20 minutes, jiggling him back to sleep when Mela is downstairs alone. Even if I feel like she's relatively safe (e.g. in her highchair), I spend the whole time convinced that something terrible has happened (e.g. chocked to death) and I'm going to come downstairs to a dead toddler.
Vivid imagination? Maybe. But my job is to protect her at all times and being out of the room like that just isn't safe.
So finally, yesterday, I decided that Nathan had to learn to sleep on his own. What else do people do when they have more than one kid and the baby is like this? (Seriously, if you know, please tell me.)
So I tried letting him cry. I made it 20 minutes and then called my mom. She kept me talking and distracted but it was so hard. I kept telling myself that I couldn't keep going to him every time he cried and that eventually, he has to learn to soothe himself and going to him would just set us back to square one.
I believe this.
I also believe that it's cruel to let a 4 month old baby cry for an extended period of time.
In the end, he cried for 50 minutes. By that point, I was a total wreck. I went in and scooped him up and took him to bed with me, where I kissed him and snuggled him and fed him and tried not to get him wet with my tears. I stayed in bed with him for hours until he finally fell asleep.
I was so traumatized by the experience, I laid down with him for his afternoon nap again today (Mela was napping). Even with me there, he sometimes would wake up suddenly and start crying, like he'd had a nightmare or a pain. He slept restlessly like that for a couple hours and then finally fell into a deep sleep, with one arm hanging on to me.
It was so restful that he slept another two hours after that, totaling four hours of sleep altogether. Little boy was tired.
I'm not saying he was traumatized, just that he clearly wakes up a lot even with me there.
So where does that leave us? After last night, I was convinced that I shouldn't let him cry like that again until he develops better soothing skills. After I'd done it, I came across a bit in my baby sleep book (which recommends "controlled crying" for certain situations) that says, "The reason we do not let colicky babies cry for an hour, as we can with easier babies, is that they have increased difficulty falling asleep unassisted."
Great. Now I read that.
But it still leaves me with the problem of how to soothe him to sleep without leaving Mela alone and unsupervised.
Suggestions are welcome, please. He is actually crying in his room alone right now, as I type this.
Here are some pics:
Coming in the door last Sunday, I saw a little face peeking at me!
Reading books with G-Pop:
Aunt Mary is fun!
Nathan loooovvvveess the jolly jumper:
Rough night (but baby's finally asleep):
We actually got out of the house!
Nathan actually fell asleep in the stroller (by the way, a double stroller fits in the bathroom at the Big Carrot):
Nathan fell asleep while I was rocking him (for one of the first times in his life)! It was so nice to have a snuggle ...
Happy times on the floor:
Have been trying to "sleep train" Nathan, since the swing hasn't been working as well lately. Basically, I just want him to be able to sleep in a bassinet or bed, motionless for some amount of time (i.e. more than 5 minutes).
It seems like everywhere I look, this is what babies do. They sleep in cribs and bassinets, on their own, several times a day. When I read books about baby sleep, they assume that you can soothe you baby to sleep for naps and focus on how to get them to sleep through the night.
I don't even CARE about sleeping through the night! (I never thought I'd say those words.) I just want my baby to sleep through a nap without 1) the swing, 2) my boob, or 3) my finger in his mouth.
It really doesn't seem that much to ask.
Anyway, it's been stressful (just what we needed) and involves running up and down the stairs a lot since he wakes up every 2 - 15 minutes and wails when he realizes there's nothing to suck on.
If this was my first baby, fine, I'd put in the time. I'm a hippy who believes in attachment parenting. But I have a toddler, which means I can't stand in his room for 20 minutes, jiggling him back to sleep when Mela is downstairs alone. Even if I feel like she's relatively safe (e.g. in her highchair), I spend the whole time convinced that something terrible has happened (e.g. chocked to death) and I'm going to come downstairs to a dead toddler.
Vivid imagination? Maybe. But my job is to protect her at all times and being out of the room like that just isn't safe.
So finally, yesterday, I decided that Nathan had to learn to sleep on his own. What else do people do when they have more than one kid and the baby is like this? (Seriously, if you know, please tell me.)
So I tried letting him cry. I made it 20 minutes and then called my mom. She kept me talking and distracted but it was so hard. I kept telling myself that I couldn't keep going to him every time he cried and that eventually, he has to learn to soothe himself and going to him would just set us back to square one.
I believe this.
I also believe that it's cruel to let a 4 month old baby cry for an extended period of time.
In the end, he cried for 50 minutes. By that point, I was a total wreck. I went in and scooped him up and took him to bed with me, where I kissed him and snuggled him and fed him and tried not to get him wet with my tears. I stayed in bed with him for hours until he finally fell asleep.
I was so traumatized by the experience, I laid down with him for his afternoon nap again today (Mela was napping). Even with me there, he sometimes would wake up suddenly and start crying, like he'd had a nightmare or a pain. He slept restlessly like that for a couple hours and then finally fell into a deep sleep, with one arm hanging on to me.
It was so restful that he slept another two hours after that, totaling four hours of sleep altogether. Little boy was tired.
I'm not saying he was traumatized, just that he clearly wakes up a lot even with me there.
So where does that leave us? After last night, I was convinced that I shouldn't let him cry like that again until he develops better soothing skills. After I'd done it, I came across a bit in my baby sleep book (which recommends "controlled crying" for certain situations) that says, "The reason we do not let colicky babies cry for an hour, as we can with easier babies, is that they have increased difficulty falling asleep unassisted."
Great. Now I read that.
But it still leaves me with the problem of how to soothe him to sleep without leaving Mela alone and unsupervised.
Suggestions are welcome, please. He is actually crying in his room alone right now, as I type this.
Here are some pics:
Coming in the door last Sunday, I saw a little face peeking at me!
Reading books with G-Pop:
Aunt Mary is fun!
Nathan loooovvvveess the jolly jumper:
Rough night (but baby's finally asleep):
We actually got out of the house!
Nathan actually fell asleep in the stroller (by the way, a double stroller fits in the bathroom at the Big Carrot):
Nathan fell asleep while I was rocking him (for one of the first times in his life)! It was so nice to have a snuggle ...
Happy times on the floor:
Comments
The one of Nate on the floor is terrific. He makes me want to channel Grover, "Am I not the most cutest adorablest snuggly warm blue monster in the whole wide world!?" or somesuch.
That is EXACTLY what Nathan is saying in that picture!