Six Things That Do Not Induce Labour
1. Long walks. First of all, how long of a walk can you really take when you're nine months pregnant and your belly is so low, it hits your thighs when you go up stairs?
Going for walks does trigger increased Braxton-Hicks contractions but really, do we need more of those at this point???
2. Cleaning the kitchen. Doing things around the house because you think you're about to have house guests at any time does not magically make this happen. Neither does baking certain dishes ("oh, if we make extra peach cobbler, maybe my parents will be able to have some if we go into labour tonight."), cleaning the tub, having good hair (great for new baby photos!) or washing the guest sheets.
All of these things just get dirty again and you still haven't had your baby.
3. Not cleaning the kitchen. Apparently, our unborn child does not respond to reverse psychology (e.g. if I leave the kitchen a total mess, we'll definitely go into labour tonight!).
This just leaves you with a messy kitchen in the morning. And no baby.
4. Eating spicy food. Yes, it does irratate the bowels, as the midwife claimed. It also results in a burnt mouth and torrential heartburn. No, it does not result in a baby.
5. Mom strike. Announcing to the world at large that you refuse to leave the lazy boy recliner until the damn baby comes only results in a very full bladder and waaaayyyy more Olympic coverage than you really needed to see. Again, our baby seems impervious to threats of any kind.
6. Perfect timing. Just because it's the PERFECT TIME to go into labour does not mean that it will happen. Just because you've had a great night's sleep or had a relaxing day or your husband's home for the weekend or it's Taste of the Danforth (and wouldn't your parents have fun sampling all the greek food?!) or the power just went out AND you had a good night's sleep AND you've had some uncomfortable contractions AND wouldn't it make a cool story if your labour started right when the power went out .... does not have any impact on the cold, heartless unborn child resting comfortably in your womb.
In other news, Mela may have chicken pox. It's been 7-10 days since her vaccination, she definitely isn't feeling well, has a very snotty nose and a couple of small red marks on her face.
Awesome timing.
Some pics from today (of things you do when NOT having a baby):
Mela wonders why all the lights are out:
Heading down to Taste of the Danforth (the stroller is old news - walking is all the rage!):
Eating gyros in the rain - not so much fun after all:
Reading books with the little sicky (and the big suck):
Going for walks does trigger increased Braxton-Hicks contractions but really, do we need more of those at this point???
2. Cleaning the kitchen. Doing things around the house because you think you're about to have house guests at any time does not magically make this happen. Neither does baking certain dishes ("oh, if we make extra peach cobbler, maybe my parents will be able to have some if we go into labour tonight."), cleaning the tub, having good hair (great for new baby photos!) or washing the guest sheets.
All of these things just get dirty again and you still haven't had your baby.
3. Not cleaning the kitchen. Apparently, our unborn child does not respond to reverse psychology (e.g. if I leave the kitchen a total mess, we'll definitely go into labour tonight!).
This just leaves you with a messy kitchen in the morning. And no baby.
4. Eating spicy food. Yes, it does irratate the bowels, as the midwife claimed. It also results in a burnt mouth and torrential heartburn. No, it does not result in a baby.
5. Mom strike. Announcing to the world at large that you refuse to leave the lazy boy recliner until the damn baby comes only results in a very full bladder and waaaayyyy more Olympic coverage than you really needed to see. Again, our baby seems impervious to threats of any kind.
6. Perfect timing. Just because it's the PERFECT TIME to go into labour does not mean that it will happen. Just because you've had a great night's sleep or had a relaxing day or your husband's home for the weekend or it's Taste of the Danforth (and wouldn't your parents have fun sampling all the greek food?!) or the power just went out AND you had a good night's sleep AND you've had some uncomfortable contractions AND wouldn't it make a cool story if your labour started right when the power went out .... does not have any impact on the cold, heartless unborn child resting comfortably in your womb.
In other news, Mela may have chicken pox. It's been 7-10 days since her vaccination, she definitely isn't feeling well, has a very snotty nose and a couple of small red marks on her face.
Awesome timing.
Some pics from today (of things you do when NOT having a baby):
Mela wonders why all the lights are out:
Heading down to Taste of the Danforth (the stroller is old news - walking is all the rage!):
Eating gyros in the rain - not so much fun after all:
Reading books with the little sicky (and the big suck):
Comments
Fingers crossed that it happens today, a day I would be able to remember very easily.